youremy
and we were bound by the city life
- Jun 7, 2026
- 52
I'm backing out of my plan to CTB.
I have a very faint idea of how to work on the anxiety, OCD, related symptoms: exercise, keeping busy, meditation.
I have no idea how to fix the personality disorder issues. Once they're deep inside, therapy feels like BS. And it's expensive.
I have God's good grace to have someone in my family willing to support me, even after I colossally fucked up. If I end up in a dead end again, I'm not sure what I'll do. I guess I'll have to jump through mental hoops to tell myself it isn't a dead end.
TLDR; I'm leaving. Thank you to those who I could talk to over the past weeks. Every part of me is telling me it doesn't make sense, but I must fight, I must become stronger, even if I am weak now.
I have a very faint idea of how to work on the anxiety, OCD, related symptoms: exercise, keeping busy, meditation.
I have no idea how to fix the personality disorder issues. Once they're deep inside, therapy feels like BS. And it's expensive.
I have God's good grace to have someone in my family willing to support me, even after I colossally fucked up. If I end up in a dead end again, I'm not sure what I'll do. I guess I'll have to jump through mental hoops to tell myself it isn't a dead end.
TLDR; I'm leaving. Thank you to those who I could talk to over the past weeks. Every part of me is telling me it doesn't make sense, but I must fight, I must become stronger, even if I am weak now.
