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I feel unsafe because I live in a country that thinks I'm a predator for being gay and that I deserve to be executed for being autistic. Unemployment is soaring, healthcare is getting less accessible, costs are rising, and the government is using the military against ordinary people. I don't have a solution for this and can't really fix it on my own.
existence is tiring, one way i've learned to look at it is many people feel the same way but don't vocalize it like you and me, they just slug on not looking to improve or change, just doing the motions, everyone is tired but life's a marathon not a race, you don't have to feel rushed, as long as you can set small goals and make reasonable attempts towards them you're growing and progressing and that's all that matters. look to be .1% better today then yesterday, sometimes i'm so unmotivated, my body feels impossible to get out of bed and other days i jump right out make a nice breakfast, work out and have a better day with no significant difference between them. i was a neet for a year and im currently a hikki in college and i'm useless and pathetic. i believe in you kiwimochi i believe you're capable of anything and more.
Wow that made me cry thank you for the kind words. I guess the constant setbacks made me so tired that even trying feels like a waste of time. What use is trying if I'll eventually feel terrible? The past 6 months feel like a joke since I was trying and I do believe I was pushing myself to do what I had to, there were times were I couldn't, were i was weak, but even despite it I used to try. What use was that? I don't feel any better. Completing my tasks, going to college, acting as if it's not draining the absolute life out of me, studying everyday as an effort to distract myself. None of it helped in making me feel better. I just feel really let down by life in general. Sorry for the rant
i think it's about believing in yourself and gaslighting yourself into thinking that your efforts will pay off in the long run, there's setbacks and suffering in the short run but in the long run when everything is adding up you'll be better off than someone who completely gave up. the mind is very strong but it is ultimately at your will, it's what makes us feel so miserable, at the same time it can make us happy and even motivated it processes the birds chirping and the ice cream you get after a sunny day at the park and your friend hugging you or your lover giving you a compliment. don't force yourself though, it's okay to be sad and cry and not get up in the morning it's okay to do that 3 days in a row let your body rest and your eyes reset . go at your own pace but never give up because future kiwi will thank you, i support you YOU GOT THIS. (say "i got this")
You're too kind. Also are you someone i know irl? Because I've been doing exactly that for 3 days in a row now lol.
) miss you guys
to all who have joined the thread over the past few months. I'm sorry wasn't available to chat at your moment of need, and even now, am not sure how much longer I will be around. Please remember that courage isn't the absence of fear or anxiety, but the power to act in the face of them. Courage comes from knowing/believing in the possibility that action is better than inaction. It's like a muscle that gets better the more you use it. But start slowly...
I can truly relate to this. I don't know what state you're from, but even living in a "safe" state is scary. With 2 children in their early twenties, each with their own strengths and struggles, I am scared for them.
Yup. That's a truth I don't like to face. It's so comforting to spiral downward into an imagined escape in death. What's hard is saying, "Despite my failures and shame, I'm going to face the world and perform today." I really don't want to say that anymore, but hey, wrong subforum.
I know. It's a struggle I deal with it daily - feeling like a complete fraud, screwing up crap at work, not being there for my family, and the list goes on. But I try to get a 3rd party perspective to keep me ground. This can be colleagues at work, or family members - really anyone to let you know that your perceived failures and shame are not that. That you are worthy of more, and while you have made mistakes, so has everyone else. But their mistakes are not that obvious to you. Just like your mistakes are not the obvious to them.
Thank you. My mom and I are moving soon, so I hope maybe I'll feel safer there. We're moving from a large blue city in an otherwise pretty red state to a smaller suburb in a blue state. I want to think that not being in the middle of a big city will help, even if it's just because there's less noise. Even just feeling like I live somewhere too small to be a target might help.
I don't know if it helps to talk about other things, but do you want to talk about Yotsuba? Reading it helps me feel better sometimes and I want to see the world more like she does, as a place of wonder and new things.
As weird as it sounds (I doubted at first too) acupuncture has been really helpful for me. I found a community acupuncture place so it's affordable (they even have some free appointments) and if nothing else, it's half an hour where you have to just lie there and relax. I listen to a comedy podcast when I'm doing it.
That's crazyy I've never reached mythic before lol. What role do you play? I used to be a Marksman, Irethel main here!
I'm sorry, that really sucks when your plans don't go the way you expect. Allow yourself some time and grace to feel awful about it. But don't let it be the ending chapter of who you are. I don't know your circumstances, but have to believe there is a path forward. But regardless of which path you choose, I truly hope that you can find some peace along your journey.
Thank you for your reply <3
As a parent of a student in the exact same position, I can empathize with you. Not knowing your major, I can say that the truly important skills taught are soft skills, and can apply beyond your major. Try looking for something that interests you and then see how some of the skills you picked up can help you. One of the most important up coming skill is "adaptability". Something to think about.
Ok, alcohol isn't the answer. It just pushes your real problem down the road, and creates a few new ones along the way. But something tells me you already knew that.
