Venting i’d like to catch the bus now

[magikalangelmimi]

i've been thinking a lot and planning my own way back home, if you catch my drift, and originally was going to do it around or on my 25th birthday
and then it changed to before… and now i'm thinking of catching it sooner.
i don't really have a lot of friends that actively check up on me or anything, the family that i do care and that cared about me are deceased and just… i don't know
i feel so lost and outta place in my own life it's just scary..
i can't really talk about these things outside of this forum either since they, friends and stuff, while would show concern and care
never reach out or just say that sucks and then leave..

i'm not sure of a method or anything right now but what i do know is that i'd like to be the next one in line to go (':
thanks for reading this, friends
hope you guys are okay and stuff

 

[BipolarExpress]

I can understand not being able to talk to your friends about your suicidal ideations. I know most of mine would freak out if I told them—and some of them would call the hospital to have me locked up on the psych ward until I was no longer expressing suicidal thoughts. (Never mind that the psych ward would probably make me feel worse!)

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you want to go so soon! You'll be missed here, friend. Do you have some methods in mind at all?

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings of wishing to be gone from this world are understandable. It can certainly be tiring having to endure this life, to me there could never be anything more ideal than peaceful eternal sleep. But I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you are looking for.

 

[magikalangelmimi]

I can understand not being able to talk to your friends about your suicidal ideations. I know most of mine would freak out if I told them—and some of them would call the hospital to have me locked up on the psych ward until I was no longer expressing suicidal thoughts. (Never mind that the psych ward would probably make me feel worse!)

i got sent there in dec of 2020 because of it, tho mine wasn't a bad experience it was honestly positive for how little it was
it's quite a world we live in aaaaa

Sorry you want to go so soon! You'll be missed here, friend. Do you have some methods in mind at all?

thank you for your kind words, i'll miss you too, friend (:
i'd like to go by hanging… i find peace and happiness in it, maybe somewhere pretty :D
if not hanging, i'd like to try for SN