Venting I won't get anything near death

[Unhumanly.]

That's something I have to remind myself to be confronted upon when one day I'll be gone from this world for good, before, I like to think that I want to complete some bucket list of things to do before dying but that won't happen, if I die, I will die, and when I die, everything is over, I wish the process could go that smoothly but then I have a ton of things to worry about, like, people finding me, or am I in a state of my life where the news of my death won't give a red alert that makes people question or make it the most talked topic around my environment

But then again, why I care? I won't be there to know if that happen or not, I'm already freed from that world, I wish I can just stop worrying

 

[ExitLight]

This happens to me too. In my case, I think it's my reptilian brain fighting a war to survive at any cost. It just will not let me die by my own hand and constantly feeding me anxieties to keep me in place.