I wish I didn't want to die

[DandiFynalicious]

I am just feeling fucking depressed and need to vent. Everywhere else I have to pretend my safety plan will save me. It's mostly for show to calm other people down and keep them from locking me up somewhere "safe."

I don't want to CTB but being alive is not pleasant either. My body feels claustrophobic. I don't have a fever but I'm too warm. I want to scream.

Right now I resent my loved ones. Selfish jerks. I live life feeling the emotional equivalent of my skin having recently been peeled off so they won't be sad. It feels massively unfair.

There need to be more safe places for adults to scream.

 

[SVEN]

Scream away here as much as you wish. So many in here are apparently coping with their lives as far as outsiders are concerned, whilst going through each endless day silently screaming inside.
This is one group which does get how you feel.