I want to live, but I can’t

[Tryingmybest4]

Like the title says: I want to live, but I can't. I spent so so so long being suicidal, but a year and a half ago I went into residential treatment. While I was there, my depression and anxiety went away… or so I thought. I started feeling numb, far away, having loss of sensation, moderate to severe memory loss. I developed depersonalization/derealization disorder. The best part!? (Sarcasm) there's no treatment with approved efficacy!! Sure on the surface when u Google it, it says it's treatable with talk therapy or emdr, but no studies have actually proven any treatment effective. And it's caused by trauma or drugs, but nothing traumatic happened to me in residential and I've never done drugs. I can't function in life and I can't keep pretending one day a magical solution will pop up. Some ppl on forums have had it for 10 years. I can't do that. I can't do this. The worst part is while I was in residential I actually thought I could be happy. That, for once in my life, I could live. I feel so stupid. I'd give anything for a normal brain.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you are trapped in such a horrible situation. Unfortunately so many so called "mental illnesses" cannot be cured with known treatments and meds and probably you were treated wrong otherwise you would not have developed a depersonalization/derealization disorder. I feel sorry what has happened to you. I wish you all the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really tiring and awful what you have to go through, it's certainly such a horrible world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes.