I want to kill myself so badly, have a 9mm

[L'absent]

Ummm.... no one said the chances were high. however it happens more often than you think. Especially in countries with good hospitals and medical care if you're found immediately. It's not like the movies or TV.

You wrote that people survive a long time after being shot in the head in your previous post.

 

[cloudyskye]

You wrote that people survive a long time after being shot in the head in your previous post.

I said people survive head shots a lot. Meaning a lot of people. Not most but a lot. Some are shot by others quite a few in attempted suicide. People have survived attempting with shotguns. It is catastrophic. It's not like failing at poison or hanging or even sn. You will be horribly injured.

 

[midstarscream]

Failed a suicide attempt in 2019 and I've still been miserable. People keep telling me life gets better but it never does. I can't fucking wait to kill myself but I always get so paranoid that I'll miss the brainstem and that I'll have a super painful death or that I won't actually die and paramedics will come and I'll just be a vegetable unable to kill myself ever again.

I have 9mm hollow points with my pistol. I have an MRI showing exactly where the medulla/pons/thalamus are in my skull. I've replanned this so many times, but my paranoid ass gets so fucking paranoid about recoil or involuntary last millisecond jerks that I don't even know where to shoot, at what angle, etc. I could just get a 12 gauge pretty easily but I've heard that with long barrels your neck extension can just make you blow your face off instead of hitting the brainstem.

I'm sure I want to die, I just wish I knew how, where to aim, how to angle, whether to use FMJ or HP, what caliber, fuck.... I hate my life so much I've literally devolved into insanity.

I'm quite a paranoid person too. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.