I tried SN 2 days ago, ask me anything

[egyptian_baddie]

I took SN after following protocol , didnt use any benzos because i didnt have them, just metoclopramide, antacid, and panadol. I put 26 grams in 40ml water, it smelled so chemically , it tastes AWFUL, i dont get how people say it smells like sea water. I only took one sip because i started gagging and was almost gonna vomit, so didnt take it all (i am a failure, i know!) after taking it , everything was normal , i didnt feel anything just slight headache after an hour , and then i immediately slept for another hour, being woken up by the worst tinnitus i ever experienced, it also felt like my heart was in my neck. I started immediately having diarhea which was so bad and i felt extremely uncomfortable, my lips and palms were blue , but i could still move. I felt the worst gastritis ever too! I have an oximeter at home which said my blood oxygen level was 81%, and i was super thirsty. I immediately just took some water, and then another panadol for the headache because it was unbearable. I stayed awake for 2 hours but i couldnt even hold my phone and then slept like a log for 9 hours, when i woke up my blood oxygen levels were back between 93% and 94% , and heart rate went down to 80s, i exactly stayed awake for 5 hours yesterday and then slept until today, i checked my oxygen levels they are 99% which is normal, however my body feels extremely tired and i still feel sleepy and have a v bad headache. Mind you all of that was from a sip, because i am a failure. Next time i will try to get IV metoclopramide and try to use mouth wash before taking it to easen the taste.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

(i am a failure, i know!)

You're not a failure

 

[EmptyBottle]

how many ml do u think u drank in that sip?

 

[egyptian_baddie]

how much did u drink in that sip?

Maybe lets say about 7ml

You're not a failure

I even failed at my suicide , i think i will try again next werk

 

[violetforever]

hope u start feeling better from those side effects i cant lie, im jealous u have access to a method that will work.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

hope u start feeling better from those side effects i cant lie, im jealous u have access to a method that will work.

Thank you, but i failed with it, and scared to try it again tomorrow, trying to find the courage

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Not a failure, this isn't easy on any level, and we appreciate you for sharing your experience with us. If you can get straws, I think sipping it through a straw might be easier.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

Not a failure, this isn't easy on any level, and we appreciate you for sharing your experience with us. If you can get straws, I think sipping it through a straw might be easier.

No straws will make it take more time, and the taste is unbearable, so i think taking it as a shot will be better. Right now , i am thinking of all the options to try to make it work!

 

[Yogih212]

I hope you find peace too, did you order from DSL by any chance?

 

[singingcrow]

out of 10 how scary was it?

 

[grizzlycamel]

When I eat foods that tasted horrible as a kid I'd pinch my nose, idk how that might help for a taste like this.

Did the SN fully dissolve into the water or was it just powdery?

 

[ForgetIExist]

I took SN after following protocol , didnt use any benzos because i didnt have them, just metoclopramide, antacid, and panadol. I put 26 grams in 40ml water, it smelled so chemically , it tastes AWFUL, i dont get how people say it smells like sea water. I only took one sip because i started gagging and was almost gonna vomit, so didnt take it all (i am a failure, i know!) after taking it , everything was normal , i didnt feel anything just slight headache after an hour , and then i immediately slept for another hour, being woken up by the worst tinnitus i ever experienced, it also felt like my heart was in my neck. I started immediately having diarhea which was so bad and i felt extremely uncomfortable, my lips and palms were blue , but i could still move. I felt the worst gastritis ever too! I have an oximeter at home which said my blood oxygen level was 81%, and i was super thirsty. I immediately just took some water, and then another panadol for the headache because it was unbearable. I stayed awake for 2 hours but i couldnt even hold my phone and then slept like a log for 9 hours, when i woke up my blood oxygen levels were back between 93% and 94% , and heart rate went down to 80s, i exactly stayed awake for 5 hours yesterday and then slept until today, i checked my oxygen levels they are 99% which is normal, however my body feels extremely tired and i still feel sleepy and have a v bad headache. Mind you all of that was from a sip, because i am a failure. Next time i will try to get IV metoclopramide and try to use mouth wash before taking it to easen the taste.

Where did you get your SN? And did the service that delivered it to you question what you were using it for? Were there any labels on your package that indicated that you were shipping a potentially hazardous chemical?

 

[Obliviate]

Maybe some candy? oral Number? throat spray? I'm autistic so I can taste things like crazy. My concern with orajel/ throat spray with SN would be if it would create a throat closing feelings.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

out of 10 how scary was it?

8/10, my SI was pretty strong , but when symptoms started i was more uncomfortable than scared, i wanted to die so that the symptoms would stop

When I eat foods that tasted horrible as a kid I'd pinch my nose, idk how that might help for a taste like this.

Did the SN fully dissolve into the water or was it just powdery?

It fully dissolved, thw water looked cloudy and there were no chunks, i put the water in fridge a bit so i can chug it easier

Where did you get your SN? And did the service that delivered it to you question what you were using it for? Were there any labels on your package that indicated that you were shipping a potentially hazardous chemical?

I got it from a local chemist , but it is not banned in my country yet

Maybe some candy? oral Number? throat spray? I'm autistic so I can taste things like crazy. My concern with orajel/ throat spray with SN would be if it would create a throat closing feelings.

I think the gastric discomfort that comes with sn may be worst than the taste , but at the end its poison not candy

 

[fadedghost]

8/10, my SI was pretty strong , but when symptoms started i was more uncomfortable than scared, i wanted to die so that the symptoms would stop

It fully dissolved, thw water looked cloudy and there were no chunks, i put the water in fridge a bit so i can chug it easier

I got it from a local chemist , but it is not banned in my country yet

I think the gastric discomfort that comes with sn may be worst than the taste , but at the end its poison not candy

Have you heard about the Rainbow Railroad?

Rainbow Railroad | We help LGBTQI+ people get to safety

In countries around the world, LGBTQI+ people face violence and oppression simply because of who they are. We help them get to safety.

www.rainbowrailroad.org

maybe instead of dying you should just head to beautiful canada and meet some Canadian dudes.... in awesome canada. And I say that, in those terms, as a gay dude. There may be a way out that doesn't involve SN. Just saying.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

Have you heard about the Rainbow Railroad?

Rainbow Railroad | We help LGBTQI+ people get to safety

In countries around the world, LGBTQI+ people face violence and oppression simply because of who they are. We help them get to safety.

www.rainbowrailroad.org

maybe instead of dying you should just head to beautiful canada and meet some Canadian dudes.... in awesome canada. And I say that, in those terms, as a gay dude. There may be a way out that doesn't involve SN. Just saying.

They get many many many requests a day, and there are some people in worst countries and worse conditions that need it more than me. I wouldnt want to take the opportunity from any of them.

 

[fadedghost]

They get many many many requests a day, and there are some people in worst countries and worse conditions that need it more than me. I wouldnt want to take the opportunity from any of them.

that's crazy talk.

this organization literally exists for people like you. look at the map on their homepage, you're country is in red

you should call them or email them

you're so upset about the situation of being gay in Egypt you already tried to drink SN. PLEASE CALL. It would make me feel better, contact them as a favor to me.

 

[singingcrow]

did you get a stomach ache?

 

[Neo-UnplugMeNow]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Interesting.
You are not a failure, just a human. :)
I wish for you, you would not feel the need for another attempt and could heal your pain.
If the only peace can come from leaving, and you would go for another attempt maybe you can somehow bypass the tongue with a funnel in your mouth? Not sure if such a thing is doable or very unpleasant. Maybe others know something about it?
Otherwise maybe the taste could be masked with putting a lot of sweeter in it like sucralose powder. Not sure if that would help enough.

Also interested if you felt chemical burning in your stomach. Did it hurt for a while after the experience?
Did you ever feel a moment of terror/panic where your body knew something was very wrong?

 

[bananamatcha]

You're not a failure by any means. I cannot even bring myself to order SN yet, much less make an active effort to ingest it. You are a human being, we are hardwired to prioritize SI. Be easy on yourself and peace be upon you.

 

[meddle]

i agree with @fadedghost. please, try to contact the rainbow railroad. you clearly struggle and suffer to the point you ACTUALLY TRIED TO CTB and you are a human beeing and DESERVE TO BE HELPED. im begging you. life could get better. just try? you could ctb anytime, no one is taking this option for you. just please try

 

[Amarajoy]

Sounds like pain reliever is pretty much useless according to your account. I do wonder if taking lower doses than protocol says results in worse symptoms. Either way I hope you feel better and like the others said I hope you reach out to some places that might make the difference for you.

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

How many grams of metoclopramide did you use? Do you think that it's good to mix SN with a fruit liquid to decrease its awful taste? Anyway, thanks for this thread, it's clarifying.

 

[Amarajoy]

This is probably my worst fear with sn. The taste. I am so afraid I'll take one sip and won't be able to drink anymore. Then just make myself very physically ill and then what?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Wow. Guess that's why they tell you not to taste test. Sounds miserable, my condolences.

 

[Matchaaa]

you're not a failure.
I wonder if your stomach was hurting,Did you also have a headache?

 

[BradGuy123]

Have you heard about the Rainbow Railroad?

Rainbow Railroad | We help LGBTQI+ people get to safety

In countries around the world, LGBTQI+ people face violence and oppression simply because of who they are. We help them get to safety.

www.rainbowrailroad.org

maybe instead of dying you should just head to beautiful canada and meet some Canadian dudes.... in awesome canada. And I say that, in those terms, as a gay dude. There may be a way out that doesn't involve SN. Just saying.

I had never heard of this charity before now. They are legit. They have a 94% rating on Charity Navigator and get a four star rating. I will be donating to them.

For the OP @egyptian_baddie I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Based on your screen name (which reveals your country), you are exactly the kind of person this kind of organization helps. What you said about "worst countries" - perhaps but your country qualifies as a country where LGBTQ+ people have is bad. On this forum, we do respect people's right to choose. But in my humble opinion all avenues should be explored before CTB. Please contact this organization and see what pans out.

You might also want to look for online forums (Redit, Facebook, etc.) where you can connect with other LGBTQ+ people in countries where people in that community are oppressed. Best of luck to you.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

you're not a failure.
I wonder if your stomach was hurting,Did you also have a headache?

yes stomach hurts even with meto and ppi. headache stayed for days but was manageable

 

[Matchaaa]

yes stomach hurts even with meto and ppi. headache stayed for days but was manageable

Thank you for sharing your experience.It helps a lot.May you have peace and freedom.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Sorry for your pain