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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,164
"I too was like you."


hello, I don't want to compare the suffering everyone has the right to suffer and there is no suffering worse than others...

but even if it's benevolent, I don't like it when someone who has been depressed for 6 months in their life tells me I too was throwing away like you ...while I have been suffering from bipolarity, social phobia, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety for 20 years...

I suffer and hate life so much that I would rather die in my sleep than win 100 million euros .I am extremely jealous when I hear that someone has died.

In 20 years there has not been a year where I have not had strong suicidal desires...I would like to die, I am obsessed by the fact of dying, it is my goal every year I am almost there
but the survival instinct holds me back at the last moment...

I'm afraid of everything all the time I am on social security disability, I receive a disabled adult allowance. a very small, banal thing scares me. I am dependent on parents like a 12 year old child I have been treated since January 2008 by psychiatrists... my situation has only gotten worse. I am full of drugs morning and evening. I am socially isolated, I do not work. the psychologist told me that my situation was complicated and that recovery too, that I had to accept my condition.

and I feel a lot of guilt towards my mother who gave me everything and who has the beginnings of Alzheimer's. I would have loved to never be born, I hate life, I hate it...

but people as long as I haven't committed suicide don't take me seriously or don't realize the degree of my suffering
 
Last edited:
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divinemistress87

divinemistress87

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,919
I feel the same way..I cant work and dependent on my parents I cant be independent and will have to ctb before they die
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Defenestration
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,121
It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering, I also just wish to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never suffer again. But anyway I hope that you find peace.
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,164
Je ressens la même chose... Je ne peux pas travailler et je dépends de mes parents. Je ne peux pas être indépendant et je devrai arrêter avant qu'ils ne meurent.
Difficult đź«‚đź«‚đź«‚
 
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Reactions: divinemistress87

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