Story i think it's official

[greenvally]

when this month started, i estabilished a dead line, 28 of august

28 is my birthday, 28/4. it seemed nice

i was still thinking that maybe things could turn alright, but now as the deadline approaches, it seems clear as the sky that this isn't the case

i'm going to fail school

i will never be able to transition

i'm evil

i was never able to do stuff right and only hurt people

just now i burned all of my diaries, and i'm now deleting all my social medias (keeping the core ones such as whatsap so that people don't raise awareness ofc)

i don't want people to know about my life, i've always been a coward and i will die as a coward, i don't want people to gather pieces of my mind and look on what i was thinking in my life.

this officially marks my yes to suicide, there is no turning back now. nothing for me anymore. i don't want to make people around me suffer but this is all i have.


i will drink blood thinners, fast for some days before the deadline and then cut my main veins at night (jugular, carotid and the one in the leg which i forgot the name, also the radials ofc). when people wake up i'll probably already be long dead

i'm practing doing deep cuts, it's not really that hard, all you have to do is get a sharp enough blade. i have like 50 of them in my body right now

everything feels surreal, i'm really at the end, this will soon be long gone, no one will ever know what was in my mind.

final week exams are next week and i'm going to fail them all because i haven't been able to focus in class for months.

then, i will reset my pc and phone, and then it's goodbye.

thank you for reading.

 

[Wehmut]

That sounds pretty sad. I plan on burning my diaries as well before I kill myself (If I do). I also attaching a lot of value to exams and stuff like that. I recently tried to not value it as much. If you do ctb, I hope you have a peaceful journey. Also... are you trans?

 

[SVEN]

You are more courageous than I can imagine, or even have words for. Best wishes for success whatever you decide.

 

[greenvally]

That sounds pretty sad. I plan on burning my diaries as well before I kill myself (If I do). I also attaching a lot of value to exams and stuff like that. I recently tried to not value it as much. If you do ctb, I hope you have a peaceful journey. Also... are you trans?

yes, this is the main reason of my demise. funny, i'll become another statistic

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find freedom from all the suffering, best of luck.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Do the OP self-ban, or did they already CTB, since there's a line through their name?