Venting I think I may CTB today...

[TheYounger]

I'm tired of all of it! My depressing dreams, not being able to be around people because of my condition, burdening my Mom and Brother with my presence at home. I don't want to keep going!

I may do it today after work with my sodium Azide. To think this could be my last day alive on this planet. I don't really care though. I'm tired of carrying this fucking burden. If I had a gun I would shoot myself today to get it done quicker. But I only have access to SA and SN.

 

[Dark Spring]

Have you made that decision yet? Or is it just a bad day? Either way what you decide will be fine for you, I hope you can feel better and more relaxed. Here you will always find support no matter what you decide. Best of luck

 

[TheYounger]

Have you made that decision yet? Or is it just a bad day? Either way what you decide will be fine for you, I hope you can feel better and more relaxed. Here you will always find support no matter what you decide. Best of luck

I appreciate the response. Yeah, today has been a very shitty day. I've been having problems with an exgirlfriend of mine. She's for some reason felt the need to talk to me after two years of no communication and it's been pulling my mind in all different directions. Just wondering what the hell she wants from me after such a long time. And there's other things as well... Job, living at home, and things like that.

Been really feeling the need to CTB this past week just because all the shit I've been feeling has been impossible to bear. But maybe today is not the day...

 

[Dark Spring]

I appreciate the response. Yeah, today has been a very shitty day. I've been having problems with an exgirlfriend of mine. She's for some reason felt the need to talk to me after two years of no communication and it's been pulling my mind in all different directions. Just wondering what the hell she wants from me after such a long time. And there's other things as well... Job, living at home, and things like that.

Been really feeling the need to CTB this past week just because all the shit I've been feeling has been impossible to bear. But maybe today is not the day...

I hope you find a way to feel better, I wish you good luck in everything and anything in SS you will find support

 

[Lupgevif]

Don't rush it for your own safety. I've had plenty of bad days when I couldn't help but think that I needed to it as soon as possible, even though I didn't have any method ready, it was hard, but I managed to calm down. Try to make decisions while bearing as little emotional charge as possible. I hope you manage to deal with the things that have been ruining your day.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry to hear your week hasn't being going well. as lupgevif said, please don't do anything in the heat of the moment. your judgement is clouded when you're impulsive.

as for your ex-girlfriend, can you be upfront and ask what she wants, or no?

 

[Cant Maintain]

think it through with all you can muster today, things could look up. if it winds up being the choice you make I wish you a peaceful transition.

 

[TheYounger]

i'm sorry to hear your week hasn't being going well. as lupgevif said, please don't do anything in the heat of the moment. your judgement is clouded when you're impulsive.

as for your ex-girlfriend, can you be upfront and ask what she wants, or no?

Yeah, my ex gf and I have been talking. She said she thought of me while hanging out with an old friend of ours from back in high school. Her intentions are kinda cloudy at this point but it seemed like she just wanted us to be in touch again. Not really sure why. She's been dating and has seen other guys these past two years so not really sure what she would want from me. I'm led to believe that she wants to have a friendship with me but at this point I really have no clue.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

She contacted you because her other options dried up.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

She contacted you because her other options dried up.

That's what I was thinking.

@TheYounger , I'm not going to tell you what you should do or not. But if you're not sure, or you want to go now because you had a bad day, please think about it a bit longer..