I should be happy

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I finally have what I didn't have all my life, in order to ctb. I have the money, resources, and access to a tank (I'm doing the exit bag method) yet I'm not as happy as I should be. I feel like a lot of people do not have access to the tanks, and the fact I do is great. I just wish I would stop being so afraid of dying, and realize that I'm more than happy to die!

 

[chester]

I just wish I would stop being so afraid of dying, and realize that I'm more than happy to die!

Welcome aboard the SI train and get comfortable because it won't get any easier. I've put on the exit bag on my dumb head a few times and I'm still here to write about it. One time I was almost out when with my last effort I managed to take it off, I couldn't stand up, I was so lightheaded. I was so angry at myself that literally a couple more seconds would've done it and I couldn't follow through. Ended up emptying the tank for the sake of making some measurements for the exit bag mega thread, and then I threw it away. Make no mistake, I still wish I was dead, but I've come to terms with the reality, that I'm incapable of killing myself by putting an oven bag on my head.