Venting I regret losing my virginity.

[cellar door]

I saw a response in a thread about dying as a virgin that said: "it's better to die as a virgin instead of lose it with the wrong person"

and it's true, one of my only regrets in life is that I lost my virginity w/ the wrong person, it disgusts me when I think about it.
I don't think that virginity is that important but the way it happened makes me sick.
does anyone here have a similar situation?

(it was consensual)

obs: I know that my recent threads are "stupid", but I'm intending to post this kind of stuff before I ctb, I don't know when it will happen but it will

 

[LavenderButterfly]

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation. One could argue if what I've done warrants the lose of "virginity", but still my first sexual act was with the person I feel pain to even think about now and I wish we never even shared the same bed...

 

[littlelady774]

Yes. View my thread here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-feel-like-a-fucking-idiot-relationships.105837/

I feel horrible about it. Probably the main reason I want to ctb

 

[cellar door]

Yes. View my thread here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-feel-like-a-fucking-idiot-relationships.105837/

I feel horrible about it. Probably the main reason I want to ctb

the response I mentioned in the post was yours btw

 

[Interloper]

What about it exactly disgusts you/makes you sick when you say wrong person, if it was consensual? Was it like rushed or did something go wrong?

 

[littlelady774]

What about it exactly disgusts you/makes you sick when you say wrong person, if it was consensual? Was it like rushed or did something go wrong?

I know this question is for the OP, but I'm going to answer it too. I grew up in a religious household. Like virginity is something meant for someone you're serious about. At the end I learned it wasn't serious and we were "just messing around"- his words.

 

[m4rius]

My case is a weird one but a case nonetheless.

I regret losing my virginity to a Tinder date. Thinking that I must get laid as soon as possible, rack up as many "bodies" as possible as a male teen.

I was 16.

I lied about my age, lied about pretty much everything. At the time I was enjoying myself, but I quickly became empty and numb by the third person. From then it just became worse.

I think men can regret losing their virginity like this too. So many young guys my age are obsessed with hooking up, rushed to lose their virginity. Their minds have already rotten and their thinking normalized.

This insecure, overly sexual and obsessive kind of mentality destroyed some of my relationships that likely had a lot of potential. It's one of the big reasons for CTB.

 

[cellar door]

What about it exactly disgusts you/makes you sick when you say wrong person, if it was consensual? Was it like rushed or did something go wrong?

It was consensual but I didn't want it, I said many times that I didn't want it and she insisted until I agree

 

[GRIM_DEADMAN]

It was consensual but I didn't want it, I said many times that I didn't want it and she insisted until I agree

If your partner had to wear you down until you finally said yes then I don't think it was consensual.

 

[littlelady774]

If your partner had to wear you down until you finally said yes then I don't think it was consensual.

Honestly I agree. She was pressuring you.

 

[cellar door]

If your partner had to wear you down until you finally said yes then I don't think it was consensual.

Honestly I agree. She was pressuring you.

I never thought about it that way, but yeah, it was not really consensual

 

[Cheza_mus]

I lost my virginity to a prostitute ..I really regret it

 

[Ultracheese]

Sending hugs to everyone here as someone who lost it non-consensually. Your experiences are still valid and I'm so sorry that you all have been struggling so much.

 

[theboy]

It's a good phrase, but virginity is important.

 

[sick.faery]

dont really care that much but if i could go back in time i'd try losing it to someone worth in and in better conditions. like the first guy i ever fucked was dick, chubby and lowkey a pedo but i was drunk so still fucked him for some reason lol. also did it in a stinky bathroom stall so eh

 

[missingpeace]

I was a perpetual people pleaser who suffered severe cases of neglect at home, my experience came out of only wanting to be noticed and loved. He was only after sex and I wish I hadn't done it with him. My yes was out of reluctance.

 

[lionetta12]

I saw a response in a thread about dying as a virgin that said: "it's better to die as a virgin instead of lose it with the wrong person"

and it's true, one of my only regrets in life is that I lost my virginity w/ the wrong person, it disgusts me when I think about it.
I don't think that virginity is that important but the way it happened makes me sick.
does anyone here have a similar situation?

(it was consensual)

obs: I know that my recent threads are "stupid", but I'm intending to post this kind of stuff before I ctb, I don't know when it will happen but it will

Lost my virginity due to rape as a child so my proper «virginity» was lost to someone I was in a relationship with. I felt robbed of it and sad but I was happy to be able to eventually later on have sex for the first time with someone I really wanted to have sex with and genuinly loved and that it was consentual.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel really bad for you. It does sound as if you were coerced.

I've never slept with someone. It's not something I'd feel all that comfortable with admitting publicly- I think people like to ridicule virgins. Still- deep down, I'm actually relieved about it. Even if (by some miracle) I had gotten with any of the people I had huge crushes on- I'm sure all of them would have ended badly and I likely would have regretted it.

It's not to criticise what other people choose to do but I think it is important to be true to yourself. I had a very strict upbringing. No sex before marriage type of thing. I'm not a big fan of religion really. I think marriage can be sensible if there are children likely on the horizon though. In any case- sex kind of became marriage in my mind. Something that should be special. So for ME personally to engage in it casually I think would do me a great deal of harm. I feel so bad for people who are pressured into it and then regret it.