Venting I REALLY wish selfish and unfit people would just stop having kids

[scary]

As of late my mom's side of the family has been trying to rekindle a relationship with her ever since we moved closer to them and its been a bit of a nightmare. We had a Christmas dinner with them a few years ago and some woman who's a friend of my mom's stepsister was outside the whole time dual wielding a cigarette and vape while pregnant, well guess who is now forcing said baby onto my mom because she's 'fit to take care of her'

My mom is getting paid to babysit but its still so awful. Of course the baby itself is tiny (who could've seen that coming?) while the actual mom is out 'working'. She's a bit of a pushover and my sister agrees that this whole situation is crazy and that she should stop, but no my mom has the whole 'its the kid of her stepsister's friend' over her head at all times and she doesn't want to start drama with either of them.

I'm kinda worried about how long this will go, the woman herself is bipolar and my sister is saying shit like she'll snap one day and call the cops on us for having her baby in our house but idk. I just feel bad for the baby.

 

[EscThisPlace321]

As of late my mom's side of the family has been trying to rekindle a relationship with her ever since we moved closer to them and its been a bit of a nightmare. We had a Christmas dinner with them a few years ago and some woman who's a friend of my mom's stepsister was outside the whole time dual wielding a cigarette and vape while pregnant, well guess who is now forcing said baby onto my mom because she's 'fit to take care of her'

My mom is getting paid to babysit but its still so awful. Of course the baby itself is tiny (who could've seen that coming?) while the actual mom is out 'working'. She's a bit of a pushover and my sister agrees that this whole situation is crazy and that she should stop, but no my mom has the whole 'its the kid of her stepsister's friend' over her head at all times and she doesn't want to start drama with either of them.

I'm kinda worried about how long this will go, the woman herself is bipolar and my sister is saying shit like she'll snap one day and call the cops on us for having her baby in our house but idk. I just feel bad for the baby.

Yea I know exactly what you mean kinda. Some people just aren't meant to be parents or have kids. I honestly feel that way about my parents. There fucking evil as hell and I'm just happy I've finally broken free from them. I basically cursed them out and told them both to die, all of my family, the other night for all the shit there trying to put me through. I feel kinda bad about it but they honestly deserved every word i said to them. They've just been behaving like demons lately and what they're trying to do to me is just like pure evil. It's horrible...

 

[rotthjärta]

People like that anger me so much. I don't understand how people bring lives into the world so carelessly. I don't like when people bring up minuscule excuses to situations that are about someones life. It's not drama its a baby. I'm sorry you're in that situation being a bystander to those kinds of situation theres not much you could do other than if you want to play a part then just try your best but don't blame yourself or overthink when it comes to incompetent people.

 

[usernameless]

Unfortunately, that's just reality. Our choice is to either die or grow accustomed to reality.

Anyway, most of the people born to dysfunctional people learn to love life (somehow) and never end up on websites like this (although, maybe that is changing with modern generations due to the proliferation of pessimistic and self-defeating ideas due to internet access). I don't know how they do it but most people are like that. So, I don't think it's worth worrying about, if you can't do anything about it. All that matters is subjective wellbeing, not how shitty someone's life looks to outside observers. Many people appear to be suffering from the outside looking in, but the "sufferer" manages a mindset that enables them to manage their life and minimize the shittyness.

 

[Spite]

Absolutely. I almost want to say there should be some kind of 'parenting license', like you need a license to be able to have children and to prove you are a fit and healthy person with enough financial stability to raise children, because there are way too many people in terrible situations, addicted to something, or ruined, or just fucked in the head who are STILL pumping out children. I believe a lot of problems could be solved this way.

A personal anecdote: one of my ex-girlfriends desperately wanted children, wanted to be a mother. We didn't date for long, only about 3 months, but my God I'm sorry but she was totally unfit to be a mother. She was 22 years old at the time who had never worked a day in her life, couldn't drive a car, and literally had no money, like less than $100 to her name. Her family was dirt poor and she lived in a shitbox. Not only that but she was rude, arrogant, wanted me to fund her life and she had no desire at all to want to change. I offered to help her enrol into college online, and I also tried to, very gently, offer to help her lose weight and try to eat healthier, and she got aggressive with me and we argued over that. She was an obese NEET who could barely leave the house and was hardly capable of looking after herself... yet she still wanted kids.

I feel bad saying all this. I know she didn't choose (most of) her circumstances, especially her bad parents, terrible living conditions, and poor mental health, but I truly believe not everyone is equipped to be a parent. I don't know what became of her - whether her life improved or she changed her attitude or eventually got a job and lost weight or what, but I hope she's doing better. We dated five years ago and she blocked me from her social media after we broke up so I don't know what she's up to these days - a lot could have changed in five years.

Lastly, I myself am unfit to be a father. I'm never having kids.