Help I really dont want to be here, but stop myself last minute.

[Fredrik892]

This is my first post here. I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this post. But I got everything set up, all I have to do is just go through with it. I even sat down with the rope and leaned forward. But yet I chicken out.

How do I get past this, I hate that I just can't push through...

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

the continuing cycle of hestitation keeps overcoming me too

 

[nymphojuno]

survival instinct is really hard to get over honestly. it's a matter of will

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find what you search for, it must be dreadful and tiring being trapped in that situation, I really wish it's not so unnecessarily difficult to permanently leave this existence.

 

[Fredrik892]

I hope that you eventually find what you search for, it must be dreadful and tiring being trapped in that situation, I really wish it's not so unnecessarily difficult to permanently leave this existence.

Thank you. I hope so too, I've wanted to CTB for quite a while, but when I try I just can't. But I don't reach out to anyone I know either. It's weird, because one part of me wants to call someone and just bawl my eyes out and get support.

While the other part of me knows I deserve to feel like this, and that it would be better if I just stopped existing. Constant chaos...