Venting I made a goodbye post, but didn't do it yet

[sadAndLost]

I made a goodbye post, but I couldn't go to that forest.
My plan is still to do it as I have decided a long time ago that I'm ctb.

I don't know exactly what I'm waiting for. I'm sure 100% I wanna sleep forever,
I've done therapy and meds for years, I tried everything to get better, nothing seems to work.

I guess I wanna live a little more to finish watching my favorite tv show Breaking bad one last time.
and I wanna see my mother and cuddle her as much as possible before I go.
I know that it will destroy her. I just wish she reads my note and understands me. I said sorry and everything in that note.
I'm not religious, but she is. so I think that she will feel devastated that I might go to hell.

For obvious reasons, SI are the main cause for me still breathing.
The best is for me to set a date :
I will ctb next Thursday morning feb 13 2025

 

[SVEN]

When it's your time, I believe you'll know. Until then, please don't feel any pressure or put any on yourself to catch that 'bus.
I'm certainly not trying to change your mind in any way, but be very sure before taking that one way trip.
Best wishes.

 

[kvorumese]

There's no shame in delaying or cancelling your ctb plans! Don't feel like you are obliged to do it and only proceed if/when you are fully ready. Rewatch your favorite show, maybe multiple times. Cuddle with your mother. Provide yourself with as much comfort as you need.
Sending hugs. I hope you find the peace that you are looking for.

 

[sadAndLost]

When it's your time, I believe you'll know. Until then, please don't feel any pressure or put any on yourself to catch that 'bus.
I'm certainly not trying to change your mind in any way, but be very sure before taking that one way trip.
Best wishes.

There's no shame in delaying or cancelling your ctb plans! Don't feel like you are obliged to do it and only proceed if/when you are fully ready. Rewatch your favorite show, maybe multiple times. Cuddle with your mother. Provide yourself with as much comfort as you need.
Sending hugs. I hope you find the peace that you are looking for.

Thank you so much guys, your words are comforting, I feel understood!

 

[kvorumese]

Thank you so much guys, your words are comforting, I feel understood!

We're here for you