I'm severely depressed and lonely, which often manifests as (private) rage. I've started cutting my upper arm, in part to channel the rage, but also to get used to increasing levels of self harm until my inhibitions are low enough that I can kill myself. It feels like training for a marathon.
It's so cathartic to see blood on myself. The problem is that it's hard to draw much blood without cutting so deep that I have to go to the ER (which I want to avoid). But without enough blood (those tiny red beads that bubble on the cut don't count), I don't feel satisfied. Not sure what to do.
It's so cathartic to see blood on myself. The problem is that it's hard to draw much blood without cutting so deep that I have to go to the ER (which I want to avoid). But without enough blood (those tiny red beads that bubble on the cut don't count), I don't feel satisfied. Not sure what to do.
