I just want to snap out of it

[Toobrokentofix]

I'm am so, so tired of this insistent bs in my head. This sense that ctb is inevitable. I get by each day by reaching out over and over like a needy baby. Even the professionals are sick of me and probably hope I hurry up n off myself. But the guilt I swallow for the pain I'm leaving behind is killing me... just not quick enough

 

[Valky]

I feel you but remember, it is okay to struggle and to take the time you need for healing. It isn't a race but a progress. :)

 

[Abandoned Character]

Even the professionals are sick of me and probably hope I hurry up n off myself.

I can't imagine what you are going through, and I apologize if I am overstepping a boundary, but I feel the need to clarify that this is very unlikely to be true. I have never met a mental health professional that would wish one of their patients would kill themselves. Being a needy baby is a good thing when you are in crisis, although self-belittling language makes it difficult to see that. Letting our networks of support take care of us is a valuable skill to nurture. I've been where you are, at least from what you say, and I probably wouldn't be interested in what I have to say here, so that's okay if that's the case. Best of luck to you.