Venting I just want to CTB

[willitpass]

I'm so tempted to get another hotel tonight and try again. The only issue is I don't have the money to keep getting hotels and chickening out. If I get a hotel I need to do it, but I don't want to feel pressured. I feel so defeated and I desperately wish to die but SI is so strong when I finally get to the final steps. I need to go in sure that SI will not take over. I simply cannot go on in life. I've been suffering my entire life. My head feels so foggy. I just don't know. I can't think straight. I'm numb but in mental anguish at the same time. God kill me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wanting to be free from all the suffering, I certainly wish it's not so difficult to cease existing on our own terms. But anyway best wishes.