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WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
My alcoholism is the thing keeping me alive..

So I've had my SN and my affairs in order for quite a few months now. I know I can't take SN being drunk... but I feel like I can't make it through a day without drinking anymore. I've tried several times to fast and not drink, the fasting is never a problem for me, but come 4-5pm the siren's call of booze starts and my depression and anxiety start building until I give in and pour my first. Next thing I know, I'm passing out in bed. Really frustrating cycle - sorry all just venting in the only place I know I can. Thanks for reading :)
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
1,169
We all have things to help us cope with this harsh reality. Only you can decide when the time is right. Don't feel too bad if you don't meet some arbitrary deadline to ctb.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,837
It sounds hard what you are going through, it really is difficult to take our own lives as it depends on so many variables. I wish you the best.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I used to drink everyday because alcohol was my only escape.
Now, I only do it once a week because it's very expensive and my body appreciates this "break" lol.

It's a crying shame we can't ctb by SN while drinking alcohol.

It would be so amazing to die while smiling and drinking booze!!!
 
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W

WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
I used to drink everyday because alcohol was my only escape.
Now, I only do it once a week because it's very expensive and my body appreciates it this "break" lol.

It's a crying shame we can't ctb by SN while drinking alcohol.

It would be so amazing to die while smiling and drinking booze!!!

Congrats on cutting back so much! That's an accomplishment! Yeah I agree... it was my original SN vision to numb myself with vodka and benzos as I drifted off. Then once I did more reading I started seeing more and more people saying alcohol would mess it up. Bummed me out.
 
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WFJ74

Student
Aug 18, 2020
150
Well I'm attempting a fasting and no drinking day today so fingers crossed. Been fasting since 7pm last night. If I can make it past midday without starting to drink I might be in the clear.
 
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checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,899
this is my issue aswell except i have N, i do wonder whether it would make a difference if i had been drinking and if we are told not too so our judgement isn't clouded as it says have a drink afterwards lol . it would make it a hell of a lot easier!!
 
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saltshaker

saltshaker

salt shaker, rule breaker
Jan 29, 2021
402
I basically want to use a generator for CO poisoning for this reason.

Stay drunk till the bitter end
 
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checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,899
I basically want to use a generatir for CO poisoning for this reason.

Stay drunk till the bitter end

I have worked in a house with a generator in and it was rather smoky lol it was before i wanted to CTB. I know everyone says you shouldn't do it impulsive or drunk but i know what i want, so don't see the problem. I'm not advising others to do that, but me personally would love to be off my nut and just do it!
 
saltshaker

saltshaker

salt shaker, rule breaker
Jan 29, 2021
402
I have worked in a house with a generator in and it was rather smoky lol it was before i wanted to CTB. I know everyone says you shouldn't do it impulsive or drunk but i know what i want, so don't see the problem. I'm not advising others to do that, but me personally would love to be off my nut and just do it!
If you get a CO meter and do simulation runs you can make it reliable. Just be careful and put lots of signs up as your CO flooded room could accidentally kill first responders.
 
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checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,899
If you get a CO meter and do simulation runs you can make it reliable. Just be careful and put lots of signs up as your CO flooded room could accidentally kill first responders.
oh yes i know that, i was a gas engineer so i had a meter and know all about the dangers. It was a method i looked at once. i have N now though :)
 
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checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,899
Why can't we take SN while drunk?

I imagine one reason is your more likely to throw up(which you will anyway, even if you use an anti e) and there might possibly be another reason to do with your stomach emptying or something like that, but i'm not 100% sure on that part.someone else may be able to help.

so i just found this post but don't know how correct it is

People have taken it with alcohol, Mahakali did the other week with gin, there's an old report of someone downing a glass of scotch with sn in it and he died, and I'm sure I remember another where someone did it after beer.

I think the prinicple is that you don't want too much liquid in your stomach, you want it to get to your intestines as fast as poss, and also alcohol can react with sn and start to convert it into not sn - which means there's less for you to absorb and a chance it wont work.

However, if you search through the forum you'll find the deadly quantity required per kg of body weight, and for most people you only need 4gms to 10gms. The 25gms is to make it as fast and likely to succeed as possible.

So in summary it will probably still work with alcohol, but there's a chance it might not, it would depend on quantity of sn and it's purity, quantity of alcohol and its strength, and whether it made you throw up
 
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,206
Just have a good blow out with your alcohol a week before you take your SN haha
 

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