Venting I have everything planned but each day I just want to give up and do it right now.

[DaatiSimi]

I know how I'm supposed to do it. Fly to Mexico. Get "N". Fly back to my country. Wait for Friday night. Take "N". Goodbye world. Get buried over there.

But the more time goes by, the more I just want to say fuck the plan and ctb immediately.
I am way too fucked up. I really am crazy.

I wish I had been born normal.
Each day that goes by I realize I really don't have anything else to say or do here. I need to go, I need to go, I need to go.

 

[Un-]

Each day that goes by I realize I really don't have anything else to say or do here. I need to go, I need to go, I need to go.

Each day you realise you're growing worse mentally. Each fucking day you wake up and you wonder why you won't go through with your plans and fucking kill yourself. Sigh.

You phrased it best. There's nothing here for me. I've been reduced.. My life has been reduced to something worth nothing.

God would kill Himself if He were me.

 

[DaatiSimi]

Please if anyone could talk over the phone with me or something I really need to talk to someone

 

[Zegers]

Get "N". Fly back to my country

This is not a good idea, if you get the product, go with it there but dont take it into an airport.

 

[makethepainstop]

I know how I'm supposed to do it. Fly to Mexico. Get "N". Fly back to my country. Wait for Friday night. Take "N". Goodbye world. Get buried over there.

But the more time goes by, the more I just want to say fuck the plan and ctb immediately.
I am way too fucked up. I really am crazy.

I wish I had been born normal.
Each day that goes by I realize I really don't have anything else to say or do here. I need to go, I need to go, I need to go.

Un-huh! I know the feeling well, I am experiencing this very second.

 

[TydalWave]

Each day you realise you're growing worse mentally. Each fucking day you wake up and you wonder why you won't go through with your plans and fucking kill yourself. Sigh.

You phrased it best. There's nothing here for me. I've been reduced.. My life has been reduced to something worth nothing.

God would kill Himself if He were me.

Hey, at the least, a vacation to Mexico could be nice before you go.

I just don't know at the end of the day if I would trust 'N' from Mexico over 'SN' I get from medical facilities in the U.S...

It's always a toss up. I wish I had 'N' too. But it's a gamble. And there are ways to make SN more like N with minimal effort.

Please if anyone could talk over the phone with me or something I really need to talk to someone

Likewise, I can talk to you if you need.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound like a complicated plan, but I do envy those with N. It's sad how it seems to be close to impossible to actually get ahold of some. But your feelings of just wanting to be gone are understandable, it's tiring staying here and having to experience constant suffering. There could never be anything here for me in this world as well, and after all continuing to exist is just delaying our inevitable fate which is to die and I'm tired of delaying. I hope that you find what you wish for.