Venting I have been thinking of killing myself 6

[human123]

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I am 18f and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11. I actually tried to end things 3 times when I was a kid, the first time I was 11 and I tried to freeze myself and overdose, but I was found, the second time i tried to hang myself, but the thing wasnt strong enough, and the third time I was 12 and I was going to jump off a highway bridge but took a wrong turn and was found.

I have been in therapy for most of my life and have been to many different therapists. I have also been to mental hospitals 3 times, but they just made it worse. after the third time I went to the mental hospital, i was so scared to go back that I was determined to get better. I tried faking it till I make it for about 6 years, but I still want to die.

I am scared about the way the world is going, I'm scared about being put back in a mental hospital, I think it would be easier if I just stopped existing. I want my pain to end. I dont want to hurt anymore, but when i was a kid, I was always told that suicide was bad. I dont want to hurt my loved ones, but I've tried everything. I even reached out to an online depression support group and all I got was someone trying to convert me to their religion (I'm an atheist)

In 174 days, August 31, I'll be in college, and my college is about an hour's walk from a toll bridge 59 feet above a river. I will buy a 50 foot rope and one end ill make a noose, and on the other end i'll tie it to the bridge and put the noose around my neck and jump off. I wasn't sure if jumping alone into the river and drowning would 100% kill me, and I heard with hanging from a drop that much (after the tying it might be around 45ish feet of rope) my head might come straight off, and if that doesn't work, ill still drown. if anyone is reading this, will it work?

Fell free to say whatever in the comments.

 

[Charmander07]

i hope you're able to find peace, your situation sounds horrible and despite how tempting it is to say 'don't give up' I understand you probably feel it's past that.

One thing I will say tho, this could be my physics brain being silly, but I have a strong feeling that method won't work and if it does work it will be very painful and scary. But yeah sorry for the negative message, I hope you can be happy or at least at peace one day

 

[human123]

i hope you're able to find peace, your situation sounds horrible and despite how tempting it is to say 'don't give up' I understand you probably feel it's past that.

One thing I will say tho, this could be my physics brain being silly, but I have a strong feeling that method won't work and if it does work it will be very painful and scary. But yeah sorry for the negative message, I hope you can be happy or at least at peace one day

Thank you. Would just jumping and drowning be better? also is me wanting to die ok?

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Thank you. Would just jumping and drowning be better? also is me wanting to die ok?t me, no, it's not OK. You're too young and you hehe you're whole beautiful life ahead of yo

If you're asking me, no it's not okay. You're way too young to make such a drastic decision and end such a beautiful young life.But I understand the desire to end whatever pain that you're going through

 

[Charmander07]

Thank you. Would just jumping and drowning be better? also is me wanting to die ok?

You're not wrong for wanting to die, so many people here feel similar yet different ways to you, you're not alone. However, please make sure it's a last resort, make sure you've done everything you possibly can, im sure there might be another way around it. Personally, I'm not very knowledgeable on methods so maybe confirm with someone else besides me, but I just personally think that drowning isn't the nicest way to go especially when SI kicks in. Someone else please correct me if I'm wrong.

If there's anything you need to vent abt or u js want someone to talk to my DM's are open (tho idk how they work ngl )

 

[human123]

You're not wrong for wanting to die, so many people here feel similar yet different ways to you, you're not alone. However, please make sure it's a last resort, make sure you've done everything you possibly can, im sure there might be another way around it. Personally, I'm not very knowledgeable on methods so maybe confirm with someone else besides me, but I just personally think that drowning isn't the nicest way to go especially when SI kicks in. Someone else please correct me if I'm wrong.

If there's anything you need to vent abt or u js want someone to talk to my DM's are open (tho idk how they work ngl )

Thank you, I would dm you, but my account is too new. well I'm waiting like 6 months, so is that long enough to make sure it is a last resort?

If you're asking me, no it's not okay. You're way too young to make such a drastic decision and end such a beautiful young life.But I understand the desire to end whatever pain that you're going through

I have had these thoughts for years though. I know I do have a life ahead of me, but it really wouldn't matter if I'm dead

 

[Charmander07]

Thank you, I would dm you, but my account is too new. well I'm waiting like 6 months, so is that long enough to make sure it is a last resort?

If you want, you don't have to but if there's any social media I don't mind adding you there if you're comfortable. I think 6 months is a long time, I would spend the next 6 months rlly trying your best to enjoy the time you have left and really think if this is what you want to do

 

[human123]

If you want, you don't have to but if there's any social media I don't mind adding you there if you're comfortable. I think 6 months is a long time, I would spend the next 6 months rlly trying your best to enjoy the time you have left and really think if this is what you want to do

Telegram?

 

[Charmander07]

Telegram?

I just made an account, idk how this works nor how to add people

 

[human123]

I just made an account, idk how this works nor how to add people

At the bottom right there should be a blue button with a plus. enter @ShoukoTheFinci1 and i should pop up. if not try Shouko The Finci. ill answer tomorrow because I need to go to bed. school is early

 

[carfemtanyl]

is there a specific reason why you feel this way or are you just in a deep hole?

 

[myattempt]

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I am 18f and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11. I actually tried to end things 3 times when I was a kid, the first time I was 11 and I tried to freeze myself and overdose, but I was found, the second time i tried to hang myself, but the thing wasnt strong enough, and the third time I was 12 and I was going to jump off a highway bridge but took a wrong turn and was found.

I have been in therapy for most of my life and have been to many different therapists. I have also been to mental hospitals 3 times, but they just made it worse. after the third time I went to the mental hospital, i was so scared to go back that I was determined to get better. I tried faking it till I make it for about 6 years, but I still want to die.

I am scared about the way the world is going, I'm scared about being put back in a mental hospital, I think it would be easier if I just stopped existing. I want my pain to end. I dont want to hurt anymore, but when i was a kid, I was always told that suicide was bad. I dont want to hurt my loved ones, but I've tried everything. I even reached out to an online depression support group and all I got was someone trying to convert me to their religion (I'm an atheist)

In 174 days, August 31, I'll be in college, and my college is about an hour's walk from a toll bridge 59 feet above a river. I will buy a 50 foot rope and one end ill make a noose, and on the other end i'll tie it to the bridge and put the noose around my neck and jump off. I wasn't sure if jumping alone into the river and drowning would 100% kill me, and I heard with hanging from a drop that much (after the tying it might be around 45ish feet of rope) my head might come straight off, and if that doesn't work, ill still drown. if anyone is reading this, will it work?

Fell free to say whatever in the comments.

I'm 18 f too from the uk and every single thing I do and every step I take I'm scared to go back to the mental hospital (I've been sectioned twice)

And as for Ur question a drop hang usually breaks your neck but at that height I'm not sure (wouldn't someone try to cut the rope if ur trying this in public)-seems like too many variables that could go wrong tbh

59ft is not a tall bridge ( I posted a thread recently and someone said it needs to be much higher for ctb) -i plan on ctb by jumping from a cliff in the uk (beachy head) around 500ft at the highest point

 

[human123]

I'm 18 f too from the uk and every single thing I do and every step I take I'm scared to go back to the mental hospital (I've been sectioned twice)

And as for Ur question a drop hang usually breaks your neck but at that height I'm not sure (wouldn't someone try to cut the rope if ur trying this in public)-seems like too many variables that could go wrong tbh

59ft is not a tall bridge ( I posted a thread recently and someone said it needs to be much higher for ctb) -i plan on ctb by jumping from a cliff in the uk (beachy head) around 500ft at the highest point

With hanging criminals, they usually do about 8 feet to prevent decapitation, 45+ feet is a lot more than 8 feet.

You think neither the hanging nor the jumping and drowning would work? do you have any ideas on how it could work?

I hope you get better and find happiness. or at least find peace

is there a specific reason why you feel this way or are you just in a deep hole?

I think a lot of it is from childhood trauma. and stress and fear, and still having these feelings years later

 

[myattempt]

With hanging criminals, they usually do about 8 feet to prevent decapitation, 45+ feet is a lot more than 8 feet.

You think neither the hanging nor the jumping and drowning would work? do you have any ideas on how it could work?

I hope you get better and find happiness. or at least find peace

I think a lot of it is from childhood trauma. and stress and fear, and still having these feelings years later

Hanging in a undisturbed private setting will work and jumping from a bigger height

 

[fightclub17]

Thank you. Would just jumping and drowning be better? also is me wanting to die ok?

I jumped 8 stories and now have life altering injuries and everyone asks me what happened to me. I'm a barely walking failure.

Do not jump.

 

[human123]

Hanging in a undisturbed private setting will work and jumping from a bigger height

That is the highest hight nearby. I could drown in a mose secluded part of the river, in the forest, would that work better?

I jumped 8 stories and now have life altering injuries and everyone asks me what happened to me. I'm a barely walking failure.

Do not jump.

Ok, would drowning be better. sorry that happened to you, I dont think you are a failure

 

[myattempt]

That is the highest hight nearby. I could drown in a mose secluded part of the river, in the forest, would that work better?

Ok, would drowning be better. sorry that happened to you, I dont think you are a failure

I'm not too informed on drowning for ctb I can't really say much - look at the pinned resource threads on ss

 

[meddle]

please, research first. i beg you. this is the matter of life and death (haha, great pun, because this really is the matter of death)

why not just hang yourself? i heard its reliable, foolproof and even somewhat peaceful (compared to the drowning, for example)

 

[MephiticShadow]

Read the shallow water blackout resource maybe. Quick and painless

 

[human123]

please, research first. i beg you. this is the matter of life and death (haha, great pun, because this really is the matter of death)

why not just hang yourself? i heard its reliable, foolproof and even somewhat peaceful (compared to the drowning, for example)

I would, but im not sure where I would hang myself off that I wouldn't be found. trees are too high, and at that time I'd be in college and don't think there would be any good places there. I could maybe find a tree with a low hanging branch but most trees in the Forrest around me would be too weak. but yeah hanging would be great, expesually if I tie a bag around my head too.

Read the shallow water blackout resource maybe. Quick and painless

Yeah I read that and practiced but I didn't pass out

 

[cluefixphantom]

I had suicidal toughts starting with 10. But it is not easy to CTB especially if you have no real problem with yourself and it's the people around you that make life shitty. I think also I understand mass shooters. They dislike the circumstances they are born into and where they come from, how others behave towards them. Some are ugly like me too. Audrey Hale was always called ugly and had no friends. If I had been born in America, I'd probably have turned out that way too. I never had someone who liked me. People see me as scum and left me alone to die.

 

[m3nhera]

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I am 18f and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11. I actually tried to end things 3 times when I was a kid, the first time I was 11 and I tried to freeze myself and overdose, but I was found, the second time i tried to hang myself, but the thing wasnt strong enough, and the third time I was 12 and I was going to jump off a highway bridge but took a wrong turn and was found.

I have been in therapy for most of my life and have been to many different therapists. I have also been to mental hospitals 3 times, but they just made it worse. after the third time I went to the mental hospital, i was so scared to go back that I was determined to get better. I tried faking it till I make it for about 6 years, but I still want to die.

I am scared about the way the world is going, I'm scared about being put back in a mental hospital, I think it would be easier if I just stopped existing. I want my pain to end. I dont want to hurt anymore, but when i was a kid, I was always told that suicide was bad. I dont want to hurt my loved ones, but I've tried everything. I even reached out to an online depression support group and all I got was someone trying to convert me to their religion (I'm an atheist)

In 174 days, August 31, I'll be in college, and my college is about an hour's walk from a toll bridge 59 feet above a river. I will buy a 50 foot rope and one end ill make a noose, and on the other end i'll tie it to the bridge and put the noose around my neck and jump off. I wasn't sure if jumping alone into the river and drowning would 100% kill me, and I heard with hanging from a drop that much (after the tying it might be around 45ish feet of rope) my head might come straight off, and if that doesn't work, ill still drown. if anyone is reading this, will it work?

Fell free to say whatever in the comments.

ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?!!?? Omg I'm 18F too and my suicidal thoughts started at 11 aswell.(and I start college in a couple months)Not trying to compare, just hoping maybe you'll feel less alone in the struggle knowing others go through it too? But that's not always helpful.

 

[human123]

ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?!!?? Omg I'm 18F too and my suicidal thoughts started at 11 aswell.(and I start college in a couple months)Not trying to compare, just hoping maybe you'll feel less alone in the struggle knowing others go through it too? But that's not always helpful.

Oh I hope you get better. it is insane how simular our situations are though.

 

[m3nhera]

Oh I hope you get better. it is insane how simular our situations are though.

I hope you get better too. Sadly all we can do is hope in this cruel world.

 

[piger]

Hi, this is my first time posting here. I am 18f and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11. I actually tried to end things 3 times when I was a kid, the first time I was 11 and I tried to freeze myself and overdose, but I was found, the second time i tried to hang myself, but the thing wasnt strong enough, and the third time I was 12 and I was going to jump off a highway bridge but took a wrong turn and was found.

I have been in therapy for most of my life and have been to many different therapists. I have also been to mental hospitals 3 times, but they just made it worse. after the third time I went to the mental hospital, i was so scared to go back that I was determined to get better. I tried faking it till I make it for about 6 years, but I still want to die.

I am scared about the way the world is going, I'm scared about being put back in a mental hospital, I think it would be easier if I just stopped existing. I want my pain to end. I dont want to hurt anymore, but when i was a kid, I was always told that suicide was bad. I dont want to hurt my loved ones, but I've tried everything. I even reached out to an online depression support group and all I got was someone trying to convert me to their religion (I'm an atheist)

In 174 days, August 31, I'll be in college, and my college is about an hour's walk from a toll bridge 59 feet above a river. I will buy a 50 foot rope and one end ill make a noose, and on the other end i'll tie it to the bridge and put the noose around my neck and jump off. I wasn't sure if jumping alone into the river and drowning would 100% kill me, and I heard with hanging from a drop that much (after the tying it might be around 45ish feet of rope) my head might come straight off, and if that doesn't work, ill still drown. if anyone is reading this, will it work?

Fell free to say whatever in the comments.

Hope you're doing ok today! I was deadset on your method before. There's fear in my head that I wouldn't be immediately unconscious, plus the additional planning needed to tie the rope to said bridge rail (I was just gonna carbean it).

 

[human123]

Hope you're doing ok today! I was deadset on your method before. There's fear in my head that I wouldn't be immediately unconscious, plus the additional planning needed to tie the rope to said bridge rail (I was just gonna carbean it).

Im ok, do you think a 50 foot drop hang from the toll bridge or a full suspension hang from a tree in the forest would be more likely to succeed? the main downside to the bridge is that its a public place, so if for whatever reason the drop hang doesn't kill me instantly (it should, they use an 8 foot drop for judicial hanging and 50 feet> 8 feet) someone is likely to save me.

and the main thing with the tree is that I do not yet know how to climb one, but I plan on trying to teach myself later when its a nice day, and the leaves come back so I dont try to climb a dead tree. I have time till my due date, the end of August. I know you dont need to climb to rope it, but climbing the tree would make a full suspension hang easier, but I might also be able to bring a foldable stool, and put it in a bookbag with the rope.

 

[piger]

Im ok, do you think a 50 foot drop hang from the toll bridge or a full suspension hang from a tree in the forest would be more likely to succeed? the main downside to the bridge is that its a public place, so if for whatever reason the drop hang doesn't kill me instantly (it should, they use an 8 foot drop for judicial hanging and 50 feet> 8 feet) someone is likely to save me.

and the main thing with the tree is that I do not yet know how to climb one, but I plan on trying to teach myself later when its a nice day, and the leaves come back so I dont try to climb a dead tree. I have time till my due date, the end of August. I know you dont need to climb to rope it, but climbing the tree would make a full suspension hang easier, but I might also be able to bring a foldable stool, and put it in a bookbag with the rope.

With the drop hang id be concerned if the rope was not aligned on my neck arteries correctly worst case end up breaking my neck, paralzying myself, and choking conscious. Also if you did drop from a bridge that would have some percievable time where onlookers would try to save you, I have no idea how long the window to be able to do that would be, what it would look like, or if they could make it worse. Not like they could just pull you up with the rope thats on your neck.

What were you intending to study?

 

[human123]

What were you intending to study?

In college? elementary education

With the drop hang id be concerned if the rope was not aligned on my neck arteries correctly worst case end up breaking my neck, paralzying myself, and choking conscious. Also if you did drop from a bridge that would have some percievable time where onlookers would try to save you, I have no idea how long the window to be able to do that would be, what it would look like, or if they could make it worse. Not like they could just pull you up with the rope thats on your neck.

What were you intending to study?

So do you think hanging from a tree in the forest would be more likely to succeed?