I hate this cycle of being affectionate and end up being used.

[Parnate]

This cycle has been going on with me since I was a kid. I am a naive, innocuous person. I believe people(friends ). I trust their words . I show them affection and love. But very often people talk to me sweetly and use me to their advantage. Sometimes I don't even realise this, or realise weeks or months later. Despite so many experiences I haven't been able to still make a good judgement about people. I hate this cycle, wish people didn't take advantage of my innocence.

 

[MissAbyss]

Generally, these kinds of people all use the same patterns. Once you see through it, you're one step ahead of them. Learn about manipulation techniques and use it to your advantage to protect yourself. It's not easy but it does improve your ability to judge good people more correctly.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

It's an awful feeling when that happens. So sorry

Don't blame yourself. Reading people can be really difficult.

 

[Dejected 55]

We really shouldn't have to change ourselves to prevent being manipulated. It's funny... attack the victim is always the way of the world.

Were you raped? What were you wearing? How were you behaving? Were you alone? Did you ask for it?

Were you robbed? You must have shown weakness. Were you paying attention? Do people know you had money?

Were you beaten? Why didn't you fight back? Why didn't you defend yourself? Bullies only attack the weak.

Were you betrayed? What did you do wrong? Why were you not giving enough? They wouldn't betray you if you fulfilled them.

Were you manipulated? Why did you allow it? Why weren't you strong? Why did you give too much? Weak minded people get manipulated.

And on and on and on...

When will the perpetrators of the abuse get their due scorn and accusation and punishment? Can we stop attacking the victims?

 

[MissAbyss]

When will the perpetrators of the abuse get their due scorn and accusation and punishment? Can we stop attacking the victims?

That will probably take a very long time or it will never happen, that's the harsh reality.

If we would life in an ideal world then I would completely agree with you, but unfortunately that is far from reality. There is nothing wrong with teaching people how to defend themselves in the meantime to protect themselves from these kinds of people.
Giving someone constructive advice is not necessarily victim blaming.

P.S. I'm a victim myself. I wish someone had given me advice or learned me, how I could have defended myself against this.

 

[Lady_V]

I understand this so freaking well. I'm so naive. I get used by people who never cared about me. How do you not trust someone when they say they love you, though? I still don't know.