I hate myself for good reason

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

Why do people say to never hate yourself? What if you hate yourself for good reason? Is there nothing one can do that can warrant hating him/herself? It just doesn't make sense. If Hitler said he hated himself, would you tell him that he shouldn't?

Even if you've done nothing bad to others, can't you hate yourself for what you've done to yourself? I just don't understand why people automatically tell you not to hate yourself instead of evaluating the facts of whether one should hate him/herself or not.

And for those who say you should never do it because it's not productive, how do you just change your beliefs on a whim based on what's productive or not? I don't choose to hate myself any more than I choose to be an atheist. If believing in a religion would be better for me/more productive, I couldn't just start believing in it. Beliefs aren't a choice.

 

[persepexa]

I personally hate myself for the crime I committed and I just can't get over it no matter how long has passed. It's been 4 years and I feel the same. I think there are legitimate reasons to hate yourself tbh.

 

[hell toupee]

It just depends on your perspective.

Assume you took on a physical body and human existence to make the mistakes you have. The purpose being that those mistakes are meant to teach you something.

Time is not stagnant. You can choose right now to be a better, or new and improved version of yourself as long as you recognize those mistakes.

It only becomes a problem when you become stuck in your ways and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Since you can't change the past, you have the ability right now to become a different person than the one who made mistakes.

All it takes is the introspection and honesty to recognize and admit those mistakes, and then to make an effort to change.

You are already half way there - however it does require effort to change. It doesn't happen by itself.

Think of yourself as a sailboat that you mistakenly piloted in to a storm. However, you pulled through. You have the wherewithal to recognize if you don't change course, you are headed right for another storm. Unless you grab hold of the rudder and steer in a different direction, you will go right back in to disaster.

 

[lpdsvm]

Once you find a good method, you will not care about hating anyone much; including yourself. Short term only. Unless someone is coming at you; like a bully or something.
I myself stopped hating myself because I have some methods to try if I need. So already a relief hihi

 

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

It just depends on your perspective.

Assume you took on a physical body and human existence to make the mistakes you have. The purpose being that those mistakes are meant to teach you something.

Time is not stagnant. You can choose right now to be a better, or new and improved version of yourself as long as you recognize those mistakes.

It only becomes a problem when you become stuck in your ways and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Since you can't change the past, you have the ability right now to become a different person than the one who made mistakes.

All it takes is the introspection and honesty to recognize and admit those mistakes, and then to make an effort to change.

You are already half way there - however it does require effort to change. It doesn't happen by itself.

Think of yourself as a sailboat that you mistakenly piloted in to a storm. However, you pulled through. You have the wherewithal to recognize if you don't change course, you are headed right for another storm. Unless you grab hold of the rudder and steer in a different direction, you will go right back in to disaster. It's up to you to take the initiative, grab the rudder, and not steer yourself back in to another mistake.

It seems like every direction I steer into has a bad outcome because I end up wanting to kill myself again and it all falls apart. Over time I've realized that steering leads me into worse storms than just letting the wind and waves take me wherever they take me.

What if I don't want to sail anymore and just want to kill myself?

 

[persepexa]

It just depends on your perspective.

Assume you took on a physical body and human existence to make the mistakes you have. The purpose being that those mistakes are meant to teach you something.

Time is not stagnant. You can choose right now to be a better, or new and improved version of yourself as long as you recognize those mistakes.

It only becomes a problem when you become stuck in your ways and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Since you can't change the past, you have the ability right now to become a different person than the one who made mistakes.

All it takes is the introspection and honesty to recognize and admit those mistakes, and then to make an effort to change.

You are already half way there - however it does require effort to change. It doesn't happen by itself.

Think of yourself as a sailboat that you mistakenly piloted in to a storm. However, you pulled through. You have the wherewithal to recognize if you don't change course, you are headed right for another storm. Unless you grab hold of the rudder and steer in a different direction, you will go right back in to disaster.

I fully believed every word of this while I was in prison. I really genuinely believed that as long as I had changed and made better choices I could turn things around. Unfortunately we live in a world that doesn't allow that. People do turn their lives around after prison but those are exceptions, not the rule. Nobody I still talk to from prison, some of whom are very qualified and experienced, have no prospects of finding work. Normal people don't talk to us really because we don't fit in after our prison experiences. I really really wish I could believe your comment but I just can't any more.

 

[hell toupee]

I fully believed every word of this while I was in prison. I really genuinely believed that as long as I had changed and made better choices I could turn things around. Unfortunately we live in a world that doesn't allow that. People do turn their lives around after prison but those are exceptions, not the rule. Nobody I still talk to from prison, some of whom are very qualified and experienced, have no prospects of finding work. Normal people don't talk to us really because we don't fit in after our prison experiences. I really really wish I could believe your comment but I just can't any more.

I'm sorry this has been your experience. Not trying to make light of it at all. I certainly realize how difficult it can be to reintegrate back in to society after felony conviction and incarceration.

Maybe I wasn't clear, I was more speaking to things you can control, as in how you conduct yourself. If you've made mistakes in the past, certainly you are pretty much guaranteed nothing will change if you keep making those same mistakes. You can only control your own actions and if other people can't recognize or respect that, that's on them, not you. Even if those changes don't develop in to getting what you want, you can at the very least know you tried your best but things outside of your control prevented you from getting what you are after.

I'm not trying to say it's easy - I am no angel by any means. I used to stunt motorcycles without plates, a license, or registration, on one wheel doing 90mph - when the party lights came on the rule was drop a gear and disappear. Until you run out of gas, that is. Not trying to make any comparisons of your troubles, only trying to say I hear where you're coming from.

I don't believe in absolutes, so what I wrote and you responded to was just some generalized thoughts. Some will have it easier than others, that's for sure.

One thing I do know is repeating the same mistakes over and over again will not change anything. So we are left with trying to do something different, whatever that may be.

 

[persepexa]

I'm sorry this has been your experience. Not trying to make light of it at all. I certainly realize how difficult it can be to reintegrate back in to society after felony conviction and incarceration.

Maybe I wasn't clear, I was more speaking to things you can control, as in how you conduct yourself. If you've made mistakes in the past, certainly you are pretty much guaranteed nothing will change if you keep making those same mistakes. You can only control your own actions and if other people can't recognize or respect that, that's on them, not you. Even if those changes don't develop in to getting what you want, you can at the very least know you tried your best but things outside of your control prevented you from getting what you are after.

I'm not trying to say it's easy - I am no angel by any means. I used to stunt motorcycles without plates, a license, or registration, on one wheel doing 90mph - when the party lights came on the rule was drop a gear and disappear. Until you run out of gas, that is. Not trying to make any comparisons of your troubles, only trying to say I hear where you're coming from.

I don't believe in absolutes, so what I wrote and you responded to was just some generalized thoughts. Some will have it easier than others, that's for sure.

One thing I do know is repeating the same mistakes over and over again will not change anything. So we are left with trying to do something different, whatever that may be.

No I completely agree and I can control myself and my reactions to things. But unfortunately I can't control rebuilding my life. I can't control how I live with guilt and shame every day. I can't control how my friends have abandoned me leaving me with no meaningful relationships in my life any more. I suppose mine is an extreme case but sometimes you've just run your course in life. Sometimes the end is the end and you're overstaying your welcome.