Venting I hate my body

[Papaya569]

One of the main reasons i'm going to suicide is because of my ugly deformed body.My hips are so wide it's fking disgusting.It hurts to see other people with normal bodies it makes me depressed.I can't enjoy life with this body i have,no matter how much i exercise my body looks almost the same,i cant go to the beach with friends because of my body and my self esteem is really low.Life is really unfair why can't i be normal.I'm male and having wide hips makes my body look strange and unattractive it really sucks

 

[PwincessStepford]

Same. But instead for me, I hate my narrow hips and wide shoulders. I don't feel like a female. No matter what I do (apart from plastic surgery, which I already tried and failed and can't afford more), nothing will change.

I would kill to have wide hips, believe me. I mean, I'm killing myself because of lack of them already.

 

[HereToday]

I have body dysmorphia so I understand how you feel. Have you ever talked to someone about this? CBT can be very effective in these cases

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm ctb because of my body too (paim). It's pretty deformed. It sucks. I understand you. You are not alone.

 

[hatelife]

I'm ctb because of my body too (paim). It's pretty deformed. It sucks. I understand you. You are not alone.

same but also ppl are really shallow so no real love exist unless like mother-child bond, I would really want a daughter

 

[k75]

I hate the way my body is now, but it wasn't always like this. I was mutilated by a string of shitty surgeons with good reputations. It's especially devastating because I did everything right. I researched and asked other patients and everything. And things still went wrong. And the damage isn't likely to ever be able to be fixed either. I can barely look in the mirror most days, and I can't let anyone see me uncovered.

I liked my old body just fine. It's just bad luck, and I'll never be ok with it.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I liked my old body just fine. It's just bad luck, and I'll never be ok with it.

That is how I feel everyday. I miss my old body. I just want to die and leave this body. I can't stand this anymore.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

None of you are deformed. Forget what the fake world says you should look like. It would be boring as fuck if people didn't come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. Be proud of who you are. You're all beautiful and I love you all.

 

[charlottewilts]

My hips are so wide it's fking disgusting.It hurts to see other people with normal bodies it makes me depressed.

ugh, i really feel you. no matter how much i starve myself, i still have the same shitty frame. fucking hipbones. i often get intrusive thoughts about breaking them.

But instead for me, I hate my narrow hips and wide shoulders. I don't feel like a female.

i wish there was a way for people to exchange bodies because i'd swap with you in a hearbeat.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

I have huge issues with my body, which can be seen but also can't be seen. I am female. It has to do with my hair, and my kidneys. 6 years ago I delivered my kidneys the coup de gras, after lifelong struggles with various addictions to stimulants (this time it was caffeine, that did me in.) I also now feel this was due to unnecessarily having my wisdom teeth removed by profiteering orthodontists as a child, in traditional Chinese medicine the teeth are part of the kidney organ system, it's like having a piece of your kidney removed.

Anyway, over a period of a few months, 3/4 of my (used to be) long hair broke off, and I've looked like a butch dyke ever since. It's gotten a bit better, but I still hate the way I look. It has only grown back to be shoulder length, it used to flow down my back and I feel naked without it. I don't feel beautiful or feminine. Even worse, my "husband" has made fun of it being the way it is multiple times, it's one of the reasons our relationship is ruined. After me crying and begging him not to mention it or make fun of it anymore, he would get MAD at ME for "taking him literally" and say he was "trying to make me stronger" etc... I just look back on those memories and just cry. I wish I had had better luck in love and ended up with a nicer person.

Not only that, I am also subfertile, and am emotionally traumatized and disappointed that I can't produce as many children as easily as I would have liked to in this life.

I miss my hair so much.

I feel that I am being forced to live out life in a broken hologram that isn't what it was supposed to be.

 

[Emily123]

There are some surgeries whicj can change the body by some level . Have you ever considered it ?

 

[BabyYoda]

None of you are deformed. Forget what the fake world says you should look like. It would be boring as fuck if people didn't come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. Be proud of who you are. You're all beautiful and I love you all.

But bro, people are attracted to a certain body type especially when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. I may not be deformed but no one else recognizes me as beautiful. This is why I'm hard to date.

 

[Alec]

One of the main reasons i'm going to suicide is because of my ugly deformed body.My hips are so wide it's fking disgusting.It hurts to see other people with normal bodies it makes me depressed.I can't enjoy life with this body i have,no matter how much i exercise my body looks almost the same,i cant go to the beach with friends because of my body and my self esteem is really low.Life is really unfair why can't i be normal.I'm male and having wide hips makes my body look strange and unattractive it really sucks

I respect your feelings, but have you tried looking at it from another point of view?
You say you have wide thighs, what I'm imagining it seems like it might be very attractive. Men who have slim waists that growth into wider hips and thighs look really beautiful and sexy. And your wide thighs might make your waist seem slimmer, I feel like it might look hot.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

But bro, people are attracted to a certain body type especially when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. I may not be deformed but no one else recognizes me as beautiful. This is why I'm hard to date.

People have different tastes. Some like coke, some like pepsi or mountain dew. There's always someone who'll like you. Finding someone who's actually into you is tough no matter how "good" or "bad" you look.

 

[Zoltiel]

Yes, the plastic surgery industry needs to banned imo, and a huge broadcast needs to be sent out everywhere about the truth of these procedures. We never know what the real success rate is with these unnecessary procedures, because they only post their best pictures, and people who get botched are so depressed and embarrassed that they don't tell anyone about it, and CTB a short time later.

 

[zeroambition]

That's one of my main reasons as well. I'm doing CBT for body dysmorphia but I'm not willing to accept how ugly I look so it's not going to help. I just want to look attractive. I will always be a virgin due to my unappealing appearance and very low self esteem which will not improve unless I win lottery and get more plastic surgery. Seeing couples younger than me makes me feel so depressed and worthless..

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I have more reasons for wanting to ctb (mostly mental health), but yes. I have very bad teeth from being calcium deficient, allergic to dairy, not brushing regularly most of my life due to depression, drugs, and having two kids back to back. I'll probably have dentures by the time I'm 35-40 (but at least then I'll be able to finally smile in pictures again so I guess there's that.) I also have a flabby, ugly c section body from having my kids back to back. No matter how much I diet, work out, or starve myself I can't get it to go away. I used to be so skinny before I had my kids, it kills me. I know I'm technically seen as skinny now after 6-8 months of starving myself, but it just isn't good enough.

 

[S1mpleme]

I would better hate those people that hate your body. Believe me, if you had a girlfriend that loves you, you would never think about your body, only about her.

 

[k75]

I would better hate those people that hate your body. Believe me, if you had a girlfriend that loves you, you would never think about your body, only about her.

If you're able to feel that way, I'm happy for you, but it's not the magic answer for me. Other people don't even judge me, because I don't let them see it in the first place. I've had relationships since the surgery that destroyed me. Doesn't matter.

I have a FWB now who doesn't care about my scars. It doesn't make a bit of difference. It's always on my mind. I'm constantly on guard against being touched in those places. I cannot bring myself to show him all the damage.

As a result, relationships are permanently casual. I don't think I'll ever let anyone fully in again. The only person who saw everything didn't care, but he rejected me anyway and I can't do it again.

 

[souljah222]

I feel you bro, its hard accepting not being beautiful when everybody seems to have a sense of beauty and attraction to it instinctively/naturally.
Have you heard of platos theory of forms?
I believe that what we are here in this world, in this universe is just an imperfect "copy" of a perfect idea. Everything in this 3 dimensional world is just an imperfect representation of a perfect form. Its kinda hard to explain rn why i like this theory so much and why it makes me optimistic for whats behind this world and what comes after death but maybe i could help u to realize that u arent just your physical body.

I feel you bro, its hard accepting not being beautiful when everybody seems to have a sense of beauty and attraction to it instinctively/naturally.
Have you heard of platos theory of forms?
I believe that what we are here in this world, in this universe is just an imperfect "copy" of a perfect idea. Everything in this 3 dimensional world is just an imperfect representation of a perfect form. Its kinda hard to explain rn why i like this theory so much and why it makes me optimistic for whats behind this world and what comes after death but maybe i could help u to realize that u arent just your physical body.

i couldnt have explained platos theory of forms worse im sorry lmao i hope u somehow get what i was trying to say

 

[BabyYoda]

People have different tastes. Some like coke, some like pepsi or mountain dew. There's always someone who'll like you. Finding someone who's actually into you is tough no matter how "good" or "bad" you look.

But dude I doubt that anyone will find deformities or flaws attractive D:

 

[k75]

But dude I doubt that anyone will find deformities or flaws attractive D:

There are some weird fetishes out there.

And that's another thing that bothers me. I feel like my particular issues could be appealing to someone, and I don't think I want to be anyone's fetish attraction.

 

[selfhater]

same:( and this is the most thing i can't talk about it cuz ppl really don't understand me and keep saying "looks doesn't matter" and stuff or say it isn't a valid reason to ctb which is hurting me, so when it comes to appearance i know i suffer alone and i have to keep it to myself so i don't hear underestimates

 

[codewarrior]

Love yourself. Dont care what people think or say. The world would always find fault whatever. Focus on your dreams and goals. Beautiful or rich, they just got an advantage else its just working hard to achieve something. Let people complain. If workout helps, consider it.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Love yourself. Dont care what people think or say. The world would always find fault whatever. Focus on your dreams and goals. Beautiful or rich, they just got an advantage else its just working hard to achieve something. Let people complain. If workout helps, consider it.

Others' opinion doesn't matter that much at end of the day.
It's our own criticism on ourselves that haunts us.
Whether it comes from society brainwashing us or it's our own unique intention,
it's slightly tricky to distinguish.

 

[itsamadworld]

I have body dysmorphia so I understand how you feel. Have you ever talked to someone about this? CBT can be very effective in these cases

I also have Body Dysphoria. I had plastic surgery done ,but i reversed the plastic surgery, and it was traumatic, to where I don't even like to talk about it in great detail....I've always had an issue with being female and having a small chest....but somehow, i just stopped caring....Maybe that's why i went in the military, because I have chest like a man. teehee I decided, I'm sick of trying to please people who will never be satisfied anyways! They can go fuck themselves, because we all can find faults...

 

[Ybother]

One of the main reasons i'm going to suicide is because of my ugly deformed body.My hips are so wide it's fking disgusting.It hurts to see other people with normal bodies it makes me depressed.I can't enjoy life with this body i have,no matter how much i exercise my body looks almost the same,i cant go to the beach with friends because of my body and my self esteem is really low.Life is really unfair why can't i be normal.I'm male and having wide hips makes my body look strange and unattractive it really sucks

I completely understand. Society is always telling us that we aren't worth a damn unless we're tall or slender, totally forgetting that everybody is made different. It'll never change. There will always be these arbitrary beauty standards. I'm short, stout with short hair and no eyebrows. I'm constantly trying to hide myself. I'll hide myself until my dying day. I think I know I have no place in this world, and I'm tired of letting it bend me to Its will.

 

[Nymph]

I also have body disphoria, I hate my chest and my wide hips. I wish I looked more masculine. I want a top surgery but it's too expensive and my parents won't allow it.(still living with them) I tried binders but everytime I wear it, it feels like I can't breathe and it worsens my anxiety. I hate my body, I wish I could just cut those titties off myself

 

[Øystein]

It's easy for people to brush off your problems if you're unhappy about your looks because they think it's shallow, but in reality body dysmorphia is really a bitch, and "logical" thinking or just "trying to love yourself" doesn't mean anything sometimes. In my experience, problems with self esteem caused by my hatred of looking in the mirror is keeping me from having any relationships. I can't have a romantic partner because being self conscious all the time does not let me believe that I can be loved by anyone and will only be used and abandoned. Deep down i know that everyone can be considered attractive by at least someone, but this doesn't change my mind. I'm built from pure hatred towards myself, so there is no chance that I could truly love anyone else. And it feels pretty isolating when someone tells me it's just society's crazy standards. Yeah, maybe, but the true pain comes from the crazy standards of my own poisonous mind.

 

[ChocolateCroissant]

I understand your pain. I have had major weight loss thats effected my entire body. It plays into why I want to kill nyself. I tried so hard to get healthy and then I'm left with this and too disabled and impoverished to fix it. I'm sorry you were given this in life.... I hope your pain can lessen Much love