I have huge issues with my body, which can be seen but also can't be seen. I am female. It has to do with my hair, and my kidneys. 6 years ago I delivered my kidneys the coup de gras, after lifelong struggles with various addictions to stimulants (this time it was caffeine, that did me in.) I also now feel this was due to unnecessarily having my wisdom teeth removed by profiteering orthodontists as a child, in traditional Chinese medicine the teeth are part of the kidney organ system, it's like having a piece of your kidney removed.
Anyway, over a period of a few months, 3/4 of my (used to be) long hair broke off, and I've looked like a butch dyke ever since. It's gotten a bit better, but I still hate the way I look. It has only grown back to be shoulder length, it used to flow down my back and I feel naked without it. I don't feel beautiful or feminine. Even worse, my "husband" has made fun of it being the way it is multiple times, it's one of the reasons our relationship is ruined. After me crying and begging him not to mention it or make fun of it anymore, he would get MAD at ME for "taking him literally" and say he was "trying to make me stronger" etc... I just look back on those memories and just cry. I wish I had had better luck in love and ended up with a nicer person.
Not only that, I am also subfertile, and am emotionally traumatized and disappointed that I can't produce as many children as easily as I would have liked to in this life.
I miss my hair so much.
I feel that I am being forced to live out life in a broken hologram that isn't what it was supposed to be.