Do a Freddy Mercury: 'Think of all the interesting people you'd meet in hell.'
Besides- I'd ask them whether they think I've done enough. Whether they think any of us have done enough to make it to heaven if we die naturally. What makes them think I'm a good enough person without committing suicide to get there?!! How flattering they think I currently qualify for heaven.
If it's because I can still repent and find God or whatever. Then, I'd say- God's no fool surely? I can't pretend to like them! They'll see through that. Plus- if God would rather share the company of (so called) repentant murderers, rapists, child molesters etc. just because they belong to the fan club rather than fairly bland atheists who've really not done a whole lot wrong then- their moral compass defies belief. Why would you want to be lead by someone like that?
Maybe it's foolish but I'd like to think I could stand up for my own principles if there is a God. Even if that meant a lot more suffering. Sorry but- if there is a God, I actively hate a lot of the stuff they've done. Why would I want to be in another world they've created? I guess they created hell too but, maybe they won't be running it.
Maybe Lucifer will be more reasonable. Poor guy really- he gets sent to the underworld forever for having a minor disagreement with God. Why do people think heaven would even be all that great if God is so prickly and easily offended? It would be like living with a narcissist (again.) Forever walking on egg shells- afraid of their response if you happen to displease them.
Of course, if it came to it, I'd likely beg for forgiveness. I don't like pain. It's all pretty sadistic though- right? Why do people even see God as a teacher? Sent to hell forever because of some misdemeanor. What teacher stands a child in the corner or makes them write lines for the entire rest of their life?!! How can they learn from a punishment if the punishment never ends? Nah, either our religions are true and it truly is as f*cked up as all that or, hopefully, our religions are just stories to scare people into compliance.