i hate how hard it is to kill yourself

[failedmind]

ive been on this website for over a year now. i swore id be gone before 2025 started. now its 2026 and im still fucking here. was going for sn, but it feels hard to get now and also the process of waiting 15-20 minutes to die terrifies me. guns scare me because what if i get it wrong and im fucked for life? or what if i cant pull the trigger at all? then im scared id hang myself wrong and be in a vegetative state or something. i will never understand people saying "suicide is the easy way out" when it's the opposite. its sad and its scary and it's the hardest fucking decision to make.

i wish more than anything that i could just die in my sleep.

 

[peacefulsleepnow]

I feel this so strongly too. Just let me go, life.

 

[ipmanwc0]

i think some methods trigger SI less than others. i think CO might be one of them? not sure though cuz haven't tried it myself

 

[amor.dor]

If you want to die in your sleep, I think N is the most suitable option.

Before, I wanted to die but felt anguish over it. Today, it already seems like a fully accepted option. I am struck by how my partner committed CTB cleanly with N, and how quick it was. But I know that for the rest of the world, such a product is hard to obtain.

 

[throwaway877]

If you want to die in your sleep, I think N is the most suitable option.

Before, I wanted to die but felt anguish over it. Today, it already seems like a fully accepted option. I am struck by how my partner committed CTB cleanly with N, and how quick it was. But I know that for the rest of the world, such a product is hard to obtain.

What is N? And is it more peaceful than sn ?
I feel the exact same way. I'm really not sure how people overcome their si. I just want out of this HELL. I FEEL uncomfortable in my own body day and night it's torment. And I lost my conversation

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

If you want to die in your sleep, I think N is the most suitable option.

Before, I wanted to die but felt anguish over it. Today, it already seems like a fully accepted option. I am struck by how my partner committed CTB cleanly with N, and how quick it was. But I know that for the rest of the world, such a product is hard to obtain.

how many minutes untill unconscious after drinking N?

 

[amor.dor]

What is N? And is it more peaceful than sn ?

N = pentobarbital,Nembutal
Yes, this person drank it and passed out within seconds. This person was nervous beforehand, and I tried to offer some calm. But after drinking it, this person fell asleep quickly. I stayed for almost an hour just looking at this person lying there. Even though I was in a bit of a daze, I kept thinking—I almost swore—that this person was still breathing

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

N = pentobarbital,Nembutal
Yes, this person drank it and passed out within seconds. This person was nervous beforehand, and I tried to offer some calm. But after drinking it, this person fell asleep quickly. I stayed for almost an hour just looking at this person lying there. Even though I was in a bit of a daze, I kept thinking—I almost swore—that this person was still breathing

how many seconds? 30 or 15?

 

[amor.dor]

how many seconds? 30 or 15?

I can't say for sure, I wasn't in a good emotional state at the time, but I remember it was very quick, I'm almost certain it was less than a minute. As I said, it was so peaceful that they seemed to be sleeping.

 

[throwaway877]

How does one go about obtaining N?

 

[kitkat9234]

How does one go about obtaining N?

Pretty much impossible these days.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, it's such terrible extreme cruelty to me how the option of peaceful, guaranteed death is denied, it truly is so horrific how I cannot just die painlessly to be at peace from this dreadful, torturous existence, I always suffer so much from existing in this horrifying anti-suicide world where I cannot have that, it's so terrifying to me how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering in this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured.