Venting I hate having autism

[Dead Ghost]

A few days ago, I made a fool of myself in front of a couple of my supervisors. There was 3 carts in front of me with a bunch of random stuff and one of my supervisors told me to take the items in them back where they belong so I asked which one she wanted me to take and she said "girl, don't play with me" so I stood there for a couple of seconds with a blank face before she said "any of them" and I had to play it off like I was tired and said "it's been a long night." I hate having autism. Sometimes I need people to be literal.

All 3 of my supervisors ended up laughing as I took one of the carts away. They probably know something is wrong with me, but don't know what (from my cognitive issues to other things). I looked like a complete dumbass in front of them and I can't stop playing it in my head. If only I had the guts to just end things

The bread and butter of my life, only that before they told me that I was not very smart and today they tell me that I have ASD. Until I was 40 years old they didn't tell me anything about Asperger's... now you see what good it does me, I am a classified and labeled imbecile in their eyes.
//
El pà nostre de cada día de la meva vida, només que abans em deien que era poc espabilat i avuí dia que tinc TEA. Fins els 40 anys no em van dir rés de l'Asperger... ja veus ara de que em serveix, sóc als seus ulls un imbècil classificat i etiquetat.

 

[Resinn66]

I have also Autism, I understand and you can do nothing about it. We are wired differently. Misunderstanding Normies has always been part of my life and I don't bother anymore. I try not to engage with them as much as I can because there's no point and this only lead to conflicts and resentments.

 

[ceserasera]

A few days ago, I made a fool of myself in front of a couple of my supervisors. There was 3 carts in front of me with a bunch of random stuff and one of my supervisors told me to take the items in them back where they belong so I asked which one she wanted me to take and she said "girl, don't play with me" so I stood there for a couple of seconds with a blank face before she said "any of them" and I had to play it off like I was tired and said "it's been a long night." I hate having autism. Sometimes I need people to be literal.

All 3 of my supervisors ended up laughing as I took one of the carts away. They probably know something is wrong with me, but don't know what (from my cognitive issues to other things). I looked like a complete dumbass in front of them and I can't stop playing it in my head. If only I had the guts to just end things

It's so draining having Autism. But most frustrating is when you do something that makes complete sense in your head, but everyone else looks at you like you're incompetent. It's that never ending sense of inferiority, constantly having to prove that you're not 'stupid'. I have a big fear of never being able to shake that feeling. It's like a rock on your back.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Did you know that you can tell someone is autistic by literally looking at their face? Autistic people have a different facial structure than non-autistic people. This is the reason why I dislike looking into the mirror, it reminds me of my disability.

 

[thedaywillcome]

It sucks that things that other people take for granted do not come easily to you, it must be very confusing and frustrating!

That's the crappy side of autism… however I believe that you guys have super powers beyond what the average person tends to have; being straightforward and honest to a fault are qualities common to your condition and I consider these far more valuable than anything else!

Although I don't think I'm on the spectrum myself, I tend to get on and identify better with autistic people. There are no games and no lies. It should be commonplace to happily reframe an idea or instruction to better communicate with others - anyone who gets annoyed at having to do this is probably both impatient and inarticulate themselves. This is their weakness, not yours.

Much love and appreciation for you and your special powers

Which superpower the brain is faulty wired not different.

 

[Red]

Speaking honestly, frankly, with no games. It's a trait I value highly.

 

[callme]

The best way to get by at these jobs is to copy others. When a coworker is doing a task or socialising, watch and observe the words they use and the way they go about doing things. It will make conversations a bit smoother if you're able to figure out what sort of vibe they have and how receptive they are to being asked questions.

True unless you are the only person working in this position. In really small companies. And in pathetic 3rd world countries where people get off on people like you as the one go-to they can threaten with their life, bully, laugh at, play mindgames with, destroy your workplace, get you fired, and most of all waste your time with awful behaviour and redundant tasteless repeat over and over again of the same words because they themselves can't put two and two together.

 

[Schatten]

I also have it and I'm feeling so misunderstood .

 

[Kawika12]

I have never had a life because of my autism. I just exist. Nobody understands me. What's the point of extending this misery?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I really do hope autism is eradicated in the future and disappears like smallpox.

 

[Obliviate]

I'm the exact same way. I hate when people are rude when they don't know what that person is going through. There's just a huge lack of sympathy from the people in this world. I hate when people are not literal and detailed enough and get irritated when I ask questions but then it comes to bite them in the ass when problems arise. Unfortunately I had to mask my autism and ADHD to survive and it still shows which causes even more stress while we have to deal with more problems than "neurotypical" people. This world is so fucking ableist. Like I didn't fucking ask to be born with disabilities. I was bought here without my consent

 

[yyytry]

Seriously, I am so on board with you! Normies just do not understand that we think differently and take things literally and get confused because of this. I feel your pain, the worst of it being that there is absolutely NO way that you can get these people to understand, the world is set up for them and they take full advantage of that and refuse at all costs to let go of that control, why should they, they certainly do not want to be controlled by others they feel are 'less than' themselves, and if we cannot understand things they say without having to have what is said explained, then we MUST be less than them.

Here is some truth here to get you by.......The normies more often than not, also, do not understand thing either and
1) either go about their misunderstanding and make mistakes they then blame on others or simply shrug off
or
2) find ways to go back and question things without seeming like they did not understand, to clarify and NOT make mistakes, (IE< they wait and come back later to ask instead of standing there going 'which cart, what things?', they walk away, catch up with you later and say things like... you meant take blah blah balh and dotle li do right?, just checking to make sure....)
or
3) delegate to someone else so they are no longer involved and cannot be held liable

Our autism prevents us from doing these things as:
1) we do not like to make mistakes and like to do things right the first time
2) we want to make clarifications right away for efficiency and proper clarification
3) we are RARELY in positions that we can delegate anything to anyone as we are 'kept in our places'

I get frustrated with social situations, always been like that. I was never diagnosed but I would like to find a way to get checked. More people are getting diagnosed when they are adults now, and I suspect I'm on the spectrum.
Would be nice to demystify my awkwardness and struggles…