Venting i hate everything but hate myself the most

[theEnemy]

i cant really think of a reason to keep going. i now feel like a hollow, empty case with no purpose at all. i dont know who i am. i dont want to live either. nothing makes me happy anymore except for somethings but i cant get to do them whenever i want. and actually doing them pulls me down even more. doing them and not doing them both drive me crazy like hell. i cant escape this reality unless i kill myself. i now only want help from myself that i can eventually end myself. i hate everything i have, i am, i am doing, i love. i am a piece of thrash