i've never really been happy nor cared about anyone at all, I don't love my mom, father friends or family. I feel no emotion towards anyone in my life except one person. my girlfriend whenever I talk to her I'm happy and I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. but of course I cant talk to her 24/7 and whenever I'm not talking to her I just feel depressed. I feel desensitized to anything I once liked. I don't even get joy from just watching YouTube or playing my favorite games. nothing really brings me joy except her, and its scary. if she ever broke up with me I wouldn't be able to live. But why am I considering CTB right now then?? I feel like I'm being to clingy and just weird in general. i've talked about this to her before and she understands. I hate the idea of her only being with me because I would CTB without her. I really wish she would just forget about me and I could die in peace but I don't think I could CTB when I'm still with her, I couldn't do that to her. Anyways whenever I'm not around her every second is just agonizing I cant take it the boredom kills me and I feel like she's all I can think about. I'm just really scared because if I CTB then I would hurt her and I don't wanna do that but I cant keep going on like this.
I wish I never existed.
I wish I never existed.
