i feel suicidal after making a friend upset

[l0stc4use]

because it was an accident and i really didn't mean to hurt them with my joke. i apologized and they said it's okay but i know they're still a little mad. it's making me cry and literally want to die but of course i didn't tell them that and won't. i don't like feeling this way, is this normal? i have bpd is this a bpd thing? it's really hard to cope with

 

[pole]

like you said, you didn't mean for it to come off the way it did, and you can't control how another person will react.

I would apologize once again, but instead of saying I'm sorry, empathize and think about what about the joke may have hurt them, so they feel understood and heard. after that response, you simply give them space and let them reach out to you when ready.

you may feel intensely about it being your fault, and feel the need to put yourself down. but, remind yourself that it isn't your fault, you didn't mean for it to come off the way that it did, and your genuinely apologetic about it. we cannot control how another person will react.

instead, make sense of their reaction with empathy, to the best of your ability ofc, and as a friend, learn from it so you better understand their tendencies.

 

[pickajack]

Fuck, I definitely get this. I still feel so upset thinking of times I said the wrong thing or was an asshole without even realizing it. It haunts me. Sorry you're feeling this way. The pain is real.

 

[Rocinante]

Time heals all wounds
Give them space, and maybe like the other user said, apologize again. I don't know the circumstances that caused them to be offended but if it wasn't ill intended you shouldn't feel hard on yourself.

 

[AboutTom]

It's a bpd thing, bpd is one of the most painful disorders you can have, atleast it's actually fairly easy to separate bpd voice from your actual voice. That voice you hear that says bad things? that's not your voice, thats bpd, and it's not true no matter how much it feels like it is.

 

[unnormal9]

Time heals all wounds

No it doesn't. Repressing numbs it.