C
cordolium
Member
- Apr 16, 2022
- 16
I wrote this a little bit ago and some of it won't make sense except to me but I just need to be seen
I always feel like I'm never enough for anyone. or anything. I wish I didn't have to wake up anymore. I wish I didn't have to wake up in pain every day. I wish I could wake up and actually feel happy. I'm never going to be good enough for anything in the world. I'm good at singing but not good enough to win awards or get lead roles. I'm good at esports but not good enough to make varsity or be picked first in scrims. I feel like I have no good purpose in this world. I annoy every single person I talk to and it's so easy to tell that I do it too. I'm not liked enough by anyone. I'm always the last choice in any scenario and I have no clue how to make that change. I don't know how to prove to anyone that I'm worthy of being appreciated. I don't know how long I can keep going being so alone. I hate being in relationships. I ruin everything when I date people. I ruin everything no matter what I do. I don't matter at all. everyone makes that very clear. I'm so tired and I want to give up. I don't want to hurt anyone but at this point, no one cares enough to notice anyway. I've given so many signs away to people but everyone is busy with their own lives. I'm just something that seems to be left behind. I guess that makes me feel better though. gives me a reason to give up knowing no one will care. no one has ever cared the way I've cared for them. I hope I make the right decision, whatever it is. I know everyone thinks I'm being dramatic. I've kept this in too long that it all seems dramatized but it's true. I don't have a reason to lie about feelings that no one has cared about all this time.
I wish I was brave enough to end it all.
I always feel like I'm never enough for anyone. or anything. I wish I didn't have to wake up anymore. I wish I didn't have to wake up in pain every day. I wish I could wake up and actually feel happy. I'm never going to be good enough for anything in the world. I'm good at singing but not good enough to win awards or get lead roles. I'm good at esports but not good enough to make varsity or be picked first in scrims. I feel like I have no good purpose in this world. I annoy every single person I talk to and it's so easy to tell that I do it too. I'm not liked enough by anyone. I'm always the last choice in any scenario and I have no clue how to make that change. I don't know how to prove to anyone that I'm worthy of being appreciated. I don't know how long I can keep going being so alone. I hate being in relationships. I ruin everything when I date people. I ruin everything no matter what I do. I don't matter at all. everyone makes that very clear. I'm so tired and I want to give up. I don't want to hurt anyone but at this point, no one cares enough to notice anyway. I've given so many signs away to people but everyone is busy with their own lives. I'm just something that seems to be left behind. I guess that makes me feel better though. gives me a reason to give up knowing no one will care. no one has ever cared the way I've cared for them. I hope I make the right decision, whatever it is. I know everyone thinks I'm being dramatic. I've kept this in too long that it all seems dramatized but it's true. I don't have a reason to lie about feelings that no one has cared about all this time.
I wish I was brave enough to end it all.