I feel like my grasp on reality wanes with each passing day.

[CrazyDiamond04]

I think the monotony of each day is starting to really get to me. There are times throughout the day where I feel an almost instinctual urge to vomit, usually related to something happening during the day. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't even know how to feel anymore. This is just a mindless rant but I need to say how I feel somewhere.

 

[starlover]

Yeah. Days blur together for me too at this point, they're so dull.

I try to watch movies. Escape for a little bit.

 

[StolenLife]

I understand you. It's the same for me. Just one miserable empty day after another.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me existence certainly is something so unnecessarily and futile, we are only just waiting to die, trapped with our own thoughts in a cycle of endless days. I could never understand people who desire existence, I see it as being a cruel punishment having the ability to exist here but anyway I wish you the best, existing truly is torture.

 

[illmissmydogthatsit]

Yup. My whole reality feels as though its been confined to a small, dark closet I share with two hideous demons, my two main reasons for ctb. I'm aware that my reality is distorted, and yet I can't do anything about it because that is the beauty of treatment-resistant depression. Time is protracted, and every day is the same, like groundhog day (if you're familiar with the film). I am basically in a waiting period- either things get better, or I ctb. It's like purgatory of the most hellish kind. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.