I feel like i cant even die

[Smika1d]

Y'all I am devastated. I am sick to my stomach and I have no way out. I'm realistically not going to shoot myself and nothing else is effective enough for me to consider it. I am so devastated. I'm so tired of not having the choice to end my own life. I think that's a wild thing to take from someone. I'm in a fucking awful environment with a guarantee to get worse, and I have no way out. I'm stuck and I'm so angry and sad and just fucking sick. I can't stop crying and I don't want to breathe. This is bullshit.

 

[tams]

I often find my self in that place. It should not be so unnecessarily difficult to exercise the right to end one's life. I will probably ultimately CTB, but not having a reliable method gave me the opportunity to reflect more. I would have missed out on some other things in my life if I had been gone. Despite the bad still outweighing the good. I hope you can reflect more on what you want, and maybe give it some more time to think if that is the right solution. Not encouraging you on whether to CTB or not, just another perspective.

 

[Smika1d]

I often find my self in that place. It should not be so unnecessarily difficult to exercise the right to end one's life. I will probably ultimately CTB, but not having a reliable method gave me the opportunity to reflect more. I would have missed out on some other things in my life if I had been gone. Despite the bad still outweighing the good. I hope you can reflect more on what you want, and maybe give it some more time to think if that is the right solution. Not encouraging you on whether to CTB or not, just another perspective.

What does CTB mean?

 

[DeathToSpiesSMERSH]

What does CTB mean?

Catch The Bus/Cease To Breathe

 

[Smika1d]

Catch The Bus/Cease To Breathe

Sick. Thanks.

I often find my self in that place. It should not be so unnecessarily difficult to exercise the right to end one's life. I will probably ultimately CTB, but not having a reliable method gave me the opportunity to reflect more. I would have missed out on some other things in my life if I had been gone. Despite the bad still outweighing the good. I hope you can reflect more on what you want, and maybe give it some more time to think if that is the right solution. Not encouraging you on whether to CTB or not, just another perspective.

I have done plenty of reflecting. I constantly regret any time I didn't go through with it. I'm finding out now as I am much closer to having the money that my preferred method is all but inaccessible again. I don't want more things to enjoy. I don't want more memories. I want it all to end. Thanks for your comment, and I hope you see your way through it. Whatever that path may look like for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly disgusts me how people are denied the option to just exit this world in peace without risks and complications, I despise this anti suicide society and I know that if peaceful and reliable ways to exit were more accessible I would be long gone at this point. Feeling trapped here certainly is such a punishment to me, suicide should always be an option no matter what and it's really inhumane to want to force someone to suffer endlessly until they decay from old age.

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't have any way to die either, this world is just one form of suffering after another and every day is agony for me.

 

[greenwitch]

I've felt like this often and it was the most depressed I'd ever been. Whenever ctb became an option I instantly felt better. I'm very sorry for you...

 

[H.O.Xan]

I don't want to breathe

hanging and nn would like to intro themselves

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

It's horrible to feel so trapped.

 

[DeathSleep]

I can relate. I have had attempts and I have failed. I feel trapped as well. I get overwhelmed about still being here. The possibility of living yet another 35+ years is torture.

 

[crimsonpool]

im so sorry, im in the same situation and its hell, im sorry you have to go through it too i hope things get better for you soon one way or another