Venting i feel incredibly disgusted to engage with anything anymore. i feel like a fraud, a loser and a vile abomination.

[cacowads]

I don't even want to think, read and analyze things properly anymore. my mind just keeps jumping straight into thoughts of death, killing myself and just pure self loathing.
What's even the point of trying to engage in day to day life when it doesn't feel any satisfying anymore, knowing it doesn't matter and you're a defective human. i feel like a sack of bones without any reason to live.
i sincerly stopped participating in school, reading books, hobbies engaging with video games or shows.
they all make me feel horrible to enjoy knowing that i am incompatible or undeserving to experience such things considering my disgusting, defective self.

tl;dr thinking hurts, what's even the point. im not a normal human anyways

 

[scary]

this is 100% me. you're definitely not alone in this feeling. I wasn't built for this world

 

[Green_leaf]

I can attest too that you are not alone in this feeling

 

[left0vers]

I relate.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Definitely understand!

 

[need2exit]

I have always felt like an alien compared to people, i hope when i die i can be reborn normal, im not religious but reincarnation really comforts me for this reason.

 

[Into_The_Void33]

I never felt like I belonged here. Never fit in. I long to go back to where ever I was before I was born. You are not alone in how you're feeling

 

[meddle]

the fact that you feel this way is an indicator of your humanity. so you are the humanest human that ever was

 

[itsgone2]

Wow you really summed it up. Agree with everything. Just would add that I'd do anything for a second chance at it. To be normal this time

 

[Another Path]

I feel an alien to this world as well.
I'm burdened with much that causes me great suffering.
This world is complex and confusing, and when ones mind is artificially expanded, one might beg the universe to be dumb again.
Even in the ordinary state of mind, one might wish to be even more confined in cognition, just so that one cannot perceive all the suffering, injustice, and hopelessness in the world.
There is a way that might appear to confine the mind, that does in fact liberate it.
Let go of craving, and attachment by paying attention to your mind, and realizing that you are not the author of your thoughts.