I've been talking to older men and women to just feel something. Some of them are nice, but it's exhausting at times. I feel like without attention, without my ex, without my friends, everything feels pointless. I'm barely able to make it to my classes anymore, I'm barely able to do anything.
I feel disgusting. I feel exhausted. The worst part is that I talked to this one guy, just kinda for fun. He was into being talked down too, I dont really care, I dont judge people for their stuff. Anyways, he would pay me to basically be rude to him. The shitty part is, I liked it. I liked being mean, telling him to kill himself and being a borderline asshole. It wasn't even about the money at this point, I just feel so fucked up for the things I'm finding enjoyable now.
I feel disgusting. I feel exhausted. The worst part is that I talked to this one guy, just kinda for fun. He was into being talked down too, I dont really care, I dont judge people for their stuff. Anyways, he would pay me to basically be rude to him. The shitty part is, I liked it. I liked being mean, telling him to kill himself and being a borderline asshole. It wasn't even about the money at this point, I just feel so fucked up for the things I'm finding enjoyable now.
