Method I don’t want to suffer anymore but also don’t want to hurt my loved ones.

[luiziwtd]

Hello all, this is my first post and I hope not to be breaking any forum rules by what I'm about to ask. My grandfather took his own life after decades of depression (he ended his suffering using a FAX machine power cord to hang himself) and I could experience first hand not only the suffering he has caused to the family but also how judged and stigmatised he has been thru out the years. Even people who were directly responsive to make his life miserable talk about him in a very condescending and judgemental way blaming him for what happened. So after decades of depression I've already figured that I'm not happy, never was and never will be, among many other things I just don't want to play this game of life anymore and need some peace. Said that, I also don't want to end up like my grandfather being judged by people who don't understate or just don't care about what I've been facing my entire life. I know nothing should matter to me after I'm gone but knowing that I'll disappoint the people near me (my wife and my parents) I just can't stand the thought of doing something in a way that points out that I did it intentionally. I could just throw myself under a bus or crash my car it a truck to look like an accident, but the same way I don't want people to suffer knowing I did it intentionally I also don't want to suffer the pain of being ripped apart on a car accident for example, not to mention I don't wanna hurt anyone else on the process. So the question is, how to make it painless and to look like an accident at the same time? I really can't think of anything that I could do it myself that would look like it was an accident but wouldn't bring me pain and suffering throat the process. Any ideas?

 

[cosifantutti]

Hello all, this is my first post and I hope not to be breaking any forum rules by what I'm about to ask. My grandfather took his own life after decades of depression (he ended his suffering using a FAX machine power cord to hang himself) and I could experience first hand not only the suffering he has caused to the family but also how judged and stigmatised he has been thru out the years. Even people who were directly responsive to make his life miserable talk about him in a very condescending and judgemental way blaming him for what happened. So after decades of depression I've already figured that I'm not happy, never was and never will be, among many other things I just don't want to play this game of life anymore and need some peace. Said that, I also don't want to end up like my grandfather being judged by people who don't understate or just don't care about what I've been facing my entire life. I know nothing should matter to me after I'm gone but knowing that I'll disappoint the people near me (my wife and my parents) I just can't stand the thought of doing something in a way that points out that I did it intentionally. I could just throw myself under a bus or crash my car it a truck to look like an accident, but the same way I don't want people to suffer knowing I did it intentionally I also don't want to suffer the pain of being ripped apart on a car accident for example, not to mention I don't wanna hurt anyone else on the process. So the question is, how to make it painless and to look like an accident at the same time? I really can't think of anything that I could do it myself that would look like it was an accident but wouldn't bring me pain and suffering throat the process. Any ideas?

That's so difficult. There is such a risk of you seriously injuring yourself and becoming disabled which would make it all so much worse.

I'm in the UK and if somebody ctb there is a lot of compassion for them and their family. I'm sorry that people are so judgemental.