Venting i dont want to stop cutting

[Leonard_Bangley39]

everything in life just feels 100 times shittier when i try to stop cutting. and then as soon as i relapse, i have things to look forward to.

today has been awful. i pushed my friend away, i ended up late for work, and half the crew called off so now i have to do even more work. all i want to do is cut. as soon as i get home i dont even think ill eat or unwind or anything. im just gonna grab a fresh razor and keep cutting until theres no space left on both my arms

 

[DownwardSpiral]

cute pfp, very relatable i feel.
work is terrible, and way too stressful. im sorry. but i think eating just a little tiny something first at least would be good. i hope your shift isnt too awful.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

cute pfp, very relatable i feel.
work is terrible, and way too stressful. im sorry. but i think eating just a little tiny something first at least would be good. i hope your shift isnt too awful.

Thank you. Work sucks but it's not too bad, but we're definitely not going to get everything finished before the shift ends.

I just know that the managers are gonna b8tch about us not getting everything finoshed, but they literally have only 2 people sticking an entire store, idgaf what they think.

i wish i could've eaten before i left, i prepped some meals yesterday so i could eat in the mornings but i slept in like 15 minutes and the busses came earlier than usual so i didnt have time to eat.

just 4 and a half hours left. as soon as i get home im cutting, then eating, then sleeping

 

[EternallyCold]

Yea I get it. I can't imagine living without cutting either and life feels so good when I do it too. Stay safe though, remember to care for your wounds. Sending you lots of love

 

[watashiwastar]

I feel the same way. It doesn't make me have things to look forward to but it almost resets my negative emotions. And then from then on it becomes a matter of when I will feel sad enough to do it again.

That waiting period between not thinking about cutting and actually cutting is awful though. Makes me question the point of not cutting if its a quick way to reset my mood.

I don't cut too deeply either (I wish I could but I've been too anxious to purchase a proper razor), so my wounds never get infected. There doesn't seem to be any drawback for me. Lol