Help I don’t want to live anymore

[PolishCow]

For the past month, I've been suffering depression for a while and it's taking a toll on me. Sanctioned Suicide is the closest thing I got to a therapist especially in this dark time for me.

My sleep schedule is fucked up and I sleep through the mornings, I don't know why the hell I can't sleep at night and yet sleep so peacefully during the day.

I am currently unemployed and don't know what to do, that's why I have been thinking about suicide.

The best bet I have is drinking chemicals but I don't want to go that way, can someone help me understand why I feel this way or help me build up courage to contact a crisis line?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are in such a bad place. I think it's very easy to muck up our sleeping patterns. I guess our bodies just get used to what we do on repeat. I think that one is solveable but you would need to be very strict with yourself about keeping a regular pattern and, you'd likely feel utterly shit initially. I find I also drift towards staying up late then, getting up late when I'm allowed to. (When I don't have work.) The way to break it for me is to force myself to get up early to begin with one day- that makes it more likely I'll be tired come night time.

As to why. I'm not sure really. Some people just seem to be night owls. It's probably ok if you can make life/ work fit around it but, if you think it's contributing to you feeling awful, maybe you should tackle it.

Regarding depression- I think you should absolutely reach out for help if you want to give it a shot. Maybe a helpline but I imagine some sort of longer-term therapy might be more useful. I hope you feel better in yourself soon.

 

[pariah80]

 

[metothemoon]

Take care! You can always contact your GP. They can refer you to the right place for help or try medication? Even at night you can call doctors, give it a try! If thats too much for you, maybe you can find a website where you can chat with professionals.