Venting I don't want to fit in society

[drownll]

Whenever I find myself in any social environment I always wear a mask, i am never comfortable, i never feel truly myself, I feel chained and bounded, not free. I don't like this competition and don't want to participate, i find it pathetic, this really is a rat race. I notice a lot of people may be like me, but they pretend long enough until they have kids and they then find themselves trapped, forced to be an active member of society and have to deal with all its bullshit until their childs are grown up, and they then have invested so much in society that they get into a sunk cost fallacy.
That's the main reason why I don't wanna have kids, because if I make kids i won't be able to ctb. I won't have kids so that I will be free to ctb whenever.

I only feel at ease when i'm alone, lost in my imaginary world. In these moments i feel a unique sensation of freedom and peace, and a certain warmth that i do not find anywhere else.

 

[Unknown21]

Same, I would rather commit suicide than contribute to a society that is corrupt in every way and that has rejected me and made me suffer unnecessarily, and I do not deserve this suffering.

 

[thereisnoone]

hit the nail on the head

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Same here. I have no desire to fit in society and I really want to not fit in society. Society makes me sick and I hate their extreme demands that they have forcefully placed upon me. I don't even have it in me to comply with these demands which means I'm going to be homeless soon enough unless if I ctb. Hopefully I manage to ctb soon enough

 

[vercabow]

same. only reason i put any effort in my appearance is so that people don't treat me like i'm hitler reincarnated because i don't have massive muscles or whatever. i fucking hate how life is nothing more than a competition for things you don't inherently care about.