Venting i dont want to be seen

[mythra]

im so scared of everyone around me. even the thought of being perceived is enough to make me dizzy. im sick of being excluded in conversations with topics that i brought up. but at the same time i hate speaking to people and its a struggle to even get a single word out so most of the time they just think im an antisocial freak and dont wanna talk to me. im scared of being alone but im terrified of being around someone. but even if im talking or if im silent it doesnt matter im going to be judged as someone whos different. i dont want to see them anymore. i had to go outside today and even that was enough to send me in a state like this its pathetic and i dont even know if im writing in the right place i just want to stay home and play games or something.

lets all become amoebas together~~ that would be nice, right???

 

[Forever Sleep]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry life has brought you here. I relate to feeling excruciatingly uncomfortable around other people. I hope you feel comfortable here though. The majority of members are friendly.

Hmm yeah- an amoeba or jellyfish or tree or something would be good.

 

[youremy]

I can relate a lot. Before I moved countries I would only leave the house when we were out of bread or milk and my mom would send me.

My life is in complete, beyond-all-hope shambles right now, I am preparing to CTB and when I need to take the bus without being drunk or fucked up on some other depressant or anxiolytic I immediately get sleepy and doze off so as to not have to be aware of the fact that I am actually living through this hell and that there are other people around me, seeing me look more and more like a homeless person than a capable young guy.

And the desire not to be alone while also not wanting to be with anyone. I wonder how common this experience was before the internet - I wonder if the web has begun fostering it.

 

[red_cardinal]

Welcome! I painfully relate. High school was terrible for me from this point of view. Are you neurodivergent by change? For me, I thought it was only severe anxiety, but it was affecting me to a meltdown, and after years, I realized it's more than anxiety. Either way, I hope you find the peace you deserve

 

[mythra]

Welcome! I painfully relate. High school was terrible for me from this point of view. Are you neurodivergent by change? For me, I thought it was only severe anxiety, but it was affecting me to a meltdown, and after years, I realized it's more than anxiety. Either way, I hope you find the peace you deserve

that would be an interesting possibility! i've never been officially diagnosed with much, but it's definitely a thought i've had for a while. maybe i'll look into it? hmm~