I don't understand people with disabilities who still want to live

[LaVieEnRose]

The overwhelming tendency is for people in all circumstances to fight like hell for their lives. That is what is normal and natural. Those of us who don't share that same inclination are aberrant.

Just because something is admirable to do doesn't necessarily mean that not doing it is shameful or a sign of a weak character.

 

[RoadBLOCK]

It seems that you have not read the Guinness Book of Records

There are people without limbs. There are people with an external heart. There are also people who cannot even move due to paralysis. The instinct to survive is very strong. A human being is like a machine.Designed to live

 

[GuessWhosBack]

The severely disabled people you see still living is just survivorship bias. The rest of them have already died. The ones that remain, either can't kill themselves, or are on elite level drugs.

 

[Ash]

What's even more weird to me are the people that are horribly disfigured but still seem to find someone handsome or beautiful that marries and takes care of them. IDK what to believe, maybe they find a way to fetishize it.

Maybe don't judge everybody by your own standards

 

[Dot]

What's even more weird to me are the people that are horribly disfigured but still seem to find someone handsome or beautiful that marries and takes care of them. IDK what to believe, maybe they find a way to fetishize it.

Am gttng impressn tht lks r v imprtnt 2 u bt thy r as nt imprtnt t/ othrs

Othr ppl jst hve diffrnt priortis

The severely disabled people you see still living is just survivorship bias. The rest of them have already died. The ones that remain, either can't kill themselves, or are on elite level drugs.

Depnds on th/ disblty

Thy r nt all th/ sme & ppl r impactd in dffrnt wys

Sme ppl r bettr @ adaptng t/ dffrnt circmstncs etc

Dsabled ppl r nt a monolth - evry1 hs limts on wht thy cn d/ in thr lves fr dffrnt reasns & 'dsabld' ppl jst hve specfc limts of thr own

Ds nt mke thm 'lss thn' in n.ewy & whle ppl hve thrown opinns pls remmbr tht dsabld ppl stll nd 2 b respctd- am sre certn assumptns cn b hurtfl 2 thm

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Am gttng impressn tht lks r v imprtnt 2 u bt thy r as nt imprtnt t/ othrs

Othr ppl jst hve diffrnt priortis


Depnds on th/ disblty

Thy r nt all th/ sme & ppl r impactd in dffrnt wys

Sme ppl r bettr @ adaptng t/ dffrnt circmstncs etc

Dsabled ppl r nt a monolth - evry1 hs limts on wht thy cn d/ in thr lves fr dffrnt reasns & 'dsabld' ppl jst hve specfc limts of thr own

Ds nt mke thm 'lss thn' in n.ewy & whle ppl hve thrown opinns pls remmbr tht dsabld ppl stll nd 2 b respctd- am sre certn assumptns cn b hurtfl 2 thm

I agree. By 'severely', I mean the sort of disability that can only make life a misery to live.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstances personally, I find existence so cruel and terrible, wanting to die is all I know. I just find it horrific how a human can suffer so unbearably to unlimited amounts, it terrifies me, human existence to me is always completely undesirable, I just want to not exist for all eternity, I'm not meant to exist.

 

[Suspect_Device]

The media tried tp frame Christopher Reeve (Superman) as a hero of perseverance after his accident. I think in the early days he genuinely believed stem cell research could fix his spinal injury but eventually he realized that wouldn't happen in his lifetime. His wife's book painted a different picture, Chris was miserable as a paraplegic. I think I would nearly beg for release, even if smothered with a pillow.

Back in like, 1998 or so I had this really funny book called "You Are Worthless" written by the staff of The Onion. It was a parody of the stupid "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books that were popular back then (because people are fucking idiots). These were 200 page books that had like, two sentences of uplifting quotes per page accompanied by an illustration.

Anyway, in this book it had a blurb on how Christopher Reeve is full of shit accompanied with this really pathetic intentionally amateurish drawing of him in his wheelchair saying "If only I had been killed..." that made me crack up. I actually might re-purchase this book, I highly recommend it.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Back in like, 1998 or so I had this really funny book called "You Are Worthless" written by the staff of The Onion. It was a parody of the stupid "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books that were popular back then (because people are fucking idiots). These were 200 page books that had like, two sentences of uplifting quotes per page accompanied by an illustration.

Anyway, in this book it had a blurb on how Christopher Reeve is full of shit accompanied with this really pathetic intentionally amateurish drawing of him in his wheelchair saying "If only I had been killed..." that made me crack up. I actually might re-purchase this book, I highly recommend it.

Haha yeah I remember those Chicken Soup books, great for toilet reading on while on prozac. That 'worthless' book does sound funny. I did feel bad for Reeve because I remember when initially got back in front of media about finding a cure and how optimistic he was but later on I could tell he was over it. Losing a limb is one thing, you can still do things but he went from everything to being a prisoner of his head. How could not just play back that day over and over in his mind and bargain with the universe to wake up from the nightmare or go back in time or anything...I think I would have insisted on having the wife score some H to go out peacefully. He should have pivoted from stem cell to right to die advocacy.

 

[cait_sith]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

Don't forget that on YouTube there is basically an industry of "inspirational" videos. Able people love watching visibly disabled people giving heartfelt talks about never giving up and loving life for what they have, these videos can get millions of views, so you shouldn't compare your experience to those people who might misrepresent their experience to get views and money. Remember that nobody wants a hear a disabled person talk about wanting to die, people don't want to know about that side of disability, they want to see people with the most horrible conditions imaginable type into a voice computer with a single crippled finger how much they still love life and themselves.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

He became paralyzed and committed suicide here he tells his story

Two Arms and a Head: The Death of a Newly Paraplegic Philosopher

I can't separate the supposedly pleasurable addictions from the worst pain imaginable and the most horrible things that can happen. They are both part of the same evil.

I wouldn't want to live in this prison hell even If I had an above average life money health youth .

I despise life and this world and would never want to be a part of it.

I feel that any activity I take part in like watching a clickbait youtube video or eating a sandwich or living another day is a vote for prolife on my part. I feel like I'm betraying my true goals suicide asap to non-existence like I'm betraying truth

 

[mckf]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

I don't think you're weak at all, I think the severity of illnesses and disabilities depend on their impact on each person's quality of life. Giving up what you love most and especially when it is not your fault or choice at all, is so so difficult. Some diseases and illnesses are progressive and will continue to get worse, no matter how much you try, it is a losing battle. When it also starts to take away your ability to find meaning, like contributing in life or your hobbies for fufilment, it really becomes so difficult.

I think the biggest factor in this, is support. Whether loved ones and friends understand what you are going through, support you mentally and physically. Some people already have wives or kids and they give them support and meaning. While others were alone from the very beginning and noone cares about them, it makes it too difficult to continue.

 

[Tarrasque]

There's also an awful lot of people on social media talking about how they don't want to go on, but it doesn't get the spotlight.

 

[Exitwings]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

Starting with what you might need to hear before answering your questions.

• We shouldn't have to be strong, honestly. It's absolutely not fair, and if you feel weak that isn't something that should be a negative against you. You're allowed.
• What you see on Social Media is cultivated and always a tiny slice of reality. People only present what they want to. Some people don't like to complain or be negative online.
• Maybe cultivate a different social media experience. It sounds like you're seeing too much inspiration porn? I definitely complain a lot online and see others doing so.
• This:

Their brains reward centers make healthy levels of dopamine and serotonin despite being disabled . I think the reward centers are broken in some of our brains

Actual literal response to questions:

There's a LOT of variation among disabilities, and there's two models of disability depending on the individual and the disability and etc etc. You're comparing a huge spectrum of different things, which is probably the first issue?
Comparing, for instance, amputees with the chronically ill, is apples and oranges. Someone who "only" has an amputation but is otherwise healthy has a lot more energy and cognitive ability than someone with severe chronic fatigue.

But let's narrow it down specifically to the moderately-to-severely chronically ill, to the category me and you are in.

Personally, I don't have depression. I'm super traumatized, not totally by the illnesses so much as by people and medical professionals etc.
Simply, my brain chemistry is different from yours. It's unfair, and nothing either of us did. When I get depressed or sad 95% of the time it's because something is fucked up in my body/brain chemistry, even though I totally have justified reasons to be so. *shrugs* I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm flaunting it, I'm very aware that it's pure luck.

(Could yall in this thread try being slightly less ableist??? jeez)

Disclaimer: Like I said I'm also disabled and have chronic illnesses. I'm also autistic.

 

[todiefor]

Also let's just stop for a second and imagine if someone started a thread titled "I don't understand how someone like Boingo would still want to live".

 

[Adûnâi]

Most people in this world want to live. They see life as a gift and something they should make the most of, which is why there are so many people who keep on pushing through with life and try to live it as best as they can despite any medical conditions/disabilities

Consciousness is a rarity, so it does make sense people want to cherish it.

Their brains reward centers make healthy levels of dopamine and serotonin despite being disabled . I think the reward centers are broken in some of our brains

The thing is that all alive wants to live, all those disgusting worms and moths, and dogs and cats, they all cling to life. Hell, there are these absolutely tiny lice creatures on damp walls - I killed one, and it instinctively tried to dodge my strike! They all strive to continue. Absolutely abhorrent. Body horror. I despise this incarnated existence.

 

[Dot]

If dsabld ppl r goin2 b cmpard t/ wrms & moths etc @ ths pnt thn slf mght lck thred shrtly

Dsabld ppl r ppl & jst lke n,e othr grp sme wll b deprssd & sme wll nt

 

[SaikoKimiko]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

people almost always seem happy on social media, hell they might even look happy irl, but you never know what is going on inside their head, even if they are happy now there probably was a time in their life when they questioned their will to live and really wanted to be healthy, but maybe they came to accept it

 

[derpyderpins]

Also let's just stop for a second and imagine if someone started a thread titled "I don't understand how someone like Boingo would still want to live".

If dsabld ppl r goin2 b cmpard t/ wrms & moths etc @ ths pnt thn slf mght lck thred shrtly

Dsabld ppl r ppl & jst lke n,e othr grp sme wll b deprssd & sme wll nt

I just . . . wish people would try, just the smallest tiny little bit, to understand that other people can be different than you and totally valid without being insane or dumb or deluded, etc. I know it's a form of coping. I know it's because facing the truth that other people's feelings, experiences, and opinions are valid means they have to question their own so they have to dismiss everyone else. I know it's very painful to have that introspection. . . and it's natural to run away from it. I just still wish I had a way to convince them to be a little more decent to others. We should be supporting each other.

 

[Dot]

I see a lot of people on social media who are very positive despite having terrible medical conditions and disabilities, and they love their life. This makes me feel like I'm extremely weak mentally because I've got 3 chronic illnesses and I'm now likely to have a 4th which will stop me from doing a hobby which is the only thing I have in my life.
There's a guy on YouTube who got cut in half in an accident and he loves life, wants to live no matter what and says he has no depression and no trauma from that happened to him. I thought that can't be normal, but it seems I might be the one who's not normal by wanting to die because of this.

U r nt weak bcse u r strgglng tho

Mny ppl in ur positn wld fnd thngs dffclt & thre = reasn Y suicde r8tes r highr in ppl wth certn cnditns
Illnsses brng thr own strss bt thn thre = limts t/ lfe-styls & thn financl issus & thn stigma & socl isolatn

Pls d/ nt pt urslf dwn bcse u r strgglng - no1 evr knws wht othr ppl r goin thru

 

[i dont feel real.]

Maybe that's because I'm a fucking useless coward who can't do a thing, but I would CTB if I had a disability. I couldn't live like that. And if I see someone with disability fighting and being happy, they have my respect, my total respect. But also makes me thing of what a coward and asshole I am. Which won't fight. I totally respect them, I wish I was like them. So strong and brave. But I'm not.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

The algos must know as I got yt suggestions in my feed for people that sustained injuries causing permanent disabilities like paralysis. It's really tragic how some people are happily going about their lives and then something happens and everything's changed. Most go through a depression and adjusting to the lack of privacy for the practical concerns around hygiene and going to the bathroom sounds demoralizing at the beginning. Many of them come out on the other end with a calm resilience and having a daily schedule seems to help them. I feel guilty, like I must be some kind of grinch if someone going through that is more well adjusted than me.

 

[imsotired35]

Maybe because they didn't want to die, going through a near death experience made them appreciate life more and want to live and make sure they do as much as they can that they almost missed out on?

For other disabilities…life doesn't (always) end just because you're disabled. Your life is just different to other peoples but it's still manageable and enjoyable if you have a healthy, non suicidal mind.

Also everybody is being very vague here with saying 'I would cbt if I had a disability'. It's a spectrum and there are THOUSANDS of different disabilities that affect people in small or big ways. Being deaf is a disability but I would not cbt because of that and I'm not sure a lot of people would especially if they were born that way and never knew any different. Wearing glasses or contact lenses is also a disability and not something to cbt over. I'm autistic which is a disability and maybe the symptoms of that contribute to me wanting to cbt but I don't want to cbt purely because I am autistic. If I lost a hand or some fingers I would be disabled but again would you want to cbt just because you have 7 fingers instead of 10?? Or do you really mean if you were severely disabled and unable to care for yourself?

 

[todiefor]

I just . . . wish people would try, just the smallest tiny little bit, to understand that other people can be different than you and totally valid without being insane or dumb or deluded, etc. I know it's a form of coping. I know it's because facing the truth that other people's feelings, experiences, and opinions are valid means they have to question their own so they have to dismiss everyone else. I know it's very painful to have that introspection. . . and it's natural to run away from it. I just still wish I had a way to convince them to be a little more decent to others. We should be supporting each other.

I agree. I do also understand why it happens, but ultimately if we are going to complain that the world doesn't listen to us, isn't empathetic enough to understand us and treat us differently, and we want change, then surely we should also uphold the same principle when we approach other people's lives and perspectives and give them the same respect we demand from others. It is hypocritical. it is a bit like complaining about racism being perpetrated against you then immediately turning around and be racist to someone else deemed lower on the racism totem. It makes me a little ill and sad. We should support each other and everyone if we want the world to care about us, because otherwise it's just saying I just want the world to care about ME, and things that matter to ME.

 

[WearyWanderer]

He became paralyzed and committed suicide here he tells his story

Two Arms and a Head: The Death of a Newly Paraplegic Philosopher

I can't separate the supposedly pleasurable addictions from the worst pain imaginable and the most horrible things that can happen. They are both part of the same evil.

I wouldn't want to live in this prison hell even If I had an above average life money health youth .

I despise life and this world and would never want to be a part of it.

I feel that any activity I take part in like watching a clickbait youtube video or eating a sandwich or living another day is a vote for prolife on my part. I feel like I'm betraying my true goals suicide asap to non-existence like I'm betraying truth

Is the Paraplegic account fiction or true life? It looks like his method is one that's not very reliable so can't tell.

I wish MAID was accepted for all spinal issues

 

[untothedepths]

they have amazing support structures, are blissfully unaware of the horrors around them, or cannot vocalize. and most horrifically enough, it can be all 3.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear you have so many things to deal with. I don't think you should feel bad about struggling though.

They (the people with horrendous injuries or illnesses making a go of life) may have other things in their life that give them the support to do this. A very loving family/partner/friends. A very good medical team. Money to ensure they get the very best treatment available. Even having motivation to achieve a specific goal despite their injury or illness is going to help them to stay strong.

I don't think you should beat yourself up if you don't have these things. I don't think we can exactly force ourselves to genuinely feel and believe in things we don't.

Personally, I think it can be good to see these people as inspirational. Maybe they can motivate all of us to put in more effort despite whatever it is we're struggling with.

On the other hand, I kind of refuse to be made to feel guilty by the presence of such people. And I have much more to feel guilty for. I'm lucky enough to have at least reasonable health at the moment.

But ultimately- they still see worth and value and goodness in life. Great- good luck to them in getting what they can out of it. I still think life's shit! I simply see less point in giving my absolute all now because in my experience- it hasn't been worth it in the past. I'm more content in my own way, reluctantly treading water and complaining bitterly about it! Not so fun for other people to be around- granted but- I don't have many people around to trouble with it.

But yeah- I think you need to have things like motivation, hope, love and support to be able to overcome the really nasty stuff in life. Even the day to day shit. When we start to lose those things, it's easy to start wondering what we're even fighting for.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Is the Paraplegic account fiction or true life? It looks like his method is one that's not very reliable so can't tell.

I wish MAID was accepted for all spinal issues

The paraplegic account is true
https://www.2arms1head.com/ he committed suicide.

@WearyWanderer I'm so sorry u have been suffering in extreme torture and extreme terror for all these years.

Yes I wish assisting suicide wasn't a crime. they made assisting suicide , nembutal etc into crimes to keep torturing us in this prison hell . I know your story @WearyWanderer . Only I understand the extreme torture you are in and have been for at least 5 years trapped. If anyone had even a 1% chance of suffering 1/1000th of the extreme suffering u are in they would kill themselves today if they had the means. I have written similar things here as a warning . I guess people don't believe us . They don't know how unbearable pain and suffering can be and that nothing is worth risking such extreme torture as u r in and anyone can fall into. They think some click bait youtu video or eating etc is worth going through the most extreme torture . They have no idea right @ijustwishtodie .

I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstances much less in this hell with all these threats of unbearable pain.

I have people even here try to debate these horrors . No they can't tell us our extreme torture is not real is not probable to anyone that this evil life is worth it . They are only invalidating our extreme suffering and adding a slap to the face to someone disabled in unbearable pain and extreme suffering

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They have no idea right @ijustwishtodie .

That's right. People really have no idea as to the extent that extreme pain can go through. Just how einstein said that stupidity is infinite whereas intelligence is finite, I believe that the potential for human pain is infinite whereas the potential for human pleasure is finite. I only deal with general pain, not extreme pain but I am aware that, at any point in life, I could develop a condition that gives me extreme pain. Normies tend to think that they will be the ones to not have to deal with the extreme pain but, in truth, it's equally possible for any of us here to have to deal with extreme pain due to life being mere chance and randomness. My sister was one of them as she developed multiple sclerosis later in life.

The only solution to this is dying as early as possible since the chances of having to deal with extreme pain increases the longer you survive. Once you're dead, you will be permanently free from all harms and there will be a 0% chance for you to have to deal with extreme pain as dead people can't be in pain

 

[Ash]

Once again I find myself making the point that one can be in extreme pain and have a life worth living and it is only for each individual to decide for themselves whether that is the case. Generalisations are both wrong and highly insulting.