Venting i don't have a good reason for ctb, but i still want to

[sadandnobodyknows]

i sometimes feel like a spoiled brat for wanting to ctb. It's not like i've had anything super sad happen to me. i actually am living a really good life. yet somehow i have these feelings of inadequacy, thinking that i'm a burden to everyone in my life, thinking that i'm a failure etc. it makes me feel like i'm not being thankful enough, or that i'm spoiled. can anyone relate, because it's really starting to weigh down on me?

 

[liljeep]

You're not spoiled or lacking in gratitude for wanting to CTB. At the time I started feeling this way, I did have external reasons. But it can be something simpler, like the way you were raised, how your IRLs treat you (even if it isn't in a particularly mean way), etc. I don't believe most people with depression have it for no reason or a 'chemical imbalance' like psychiatry pushes, but it is possible.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

It's not like i've had anything super sad happen to me.

They key word is "yet". It hasn't happened to you yet, so I'm wondering if there are times when you're afraid that things will get bad for you, and it's contributing to you wanting to die. That's something I'm afraid of for myself as well.

Do you sometimes feel like you don't deserve the good life you have? That could be the reason for your feelings of inadequacy. If you had a chance to earn the privilege to have a good life, then what would you have to do, to feel like you earned it? Maybe try figuring out what that is and see if doing it will help you feel better about yourself.

Is anyone else making you feel like you're a burden, or is it just you telling yourself that?

 

[UKscotty]

You don't need a good reason or feel guilty for wanting to CTB.

One day we wake up and realise just how pointless life is. We are slaves in a system so 1% of humanity can have obscene luxury.

We breed more slaves, and then we die old and miserable anyway.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Welcome to the forum.
Even the most successful and richest people who have everything going for them CTB.
Wether it is because of mental illness, or because of an existential crisis, nobody is immune to suicidal thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all it's always a personal decision when to leave this world and none of us are obligated to continue, suicide shouldn't need to be justified with reasons, I think wanting to die is always a valid way to feel, your feelings are valid. And after all we are all going to die anyway whether there is a reason behind it or not, so it's up to the individual when that is.