N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,845
Some weeks ago I met a guy who has schizophrenia simplex. One of the worst mental ilnessess that exist. It is a very severe form of schizophrenia. They often do not tell the patient that he has it in order not to take the hope. This guy could barely think. We had a conversation and he often had to ask what I said and he repeated himself a lot. In clinic I cried a lot about my illness and he told me it is not that bad I don't have to be that sad. He thought we had the same illness. (Ironically I have a very severe maybe one of the worst forms of bipolar. So we are kind of in a similar boat. Fucked)
He owns barely nothing. In the place where he lives there are many thiefs who stole his smartphone 2 times.
After the first clinic stay I thought about the patients there and who of them killed themselves. There were many people with psychosis/schizophrenia and the suicide rate is quite high. I met some of them again and some of them even enjoy their life or at least they have arranged with their shitty life.
I could really not comprehend that. Many people value their life so much. My sister after her psychosis told me: Suicide I would never do that life is so precious. It is the most important thing a human has. I was really like how can we be relatives? (However my parents are really stupid and I ask me the same question again.)
On the other hand I think many people don't admit they are suicidal because they feel ashamed. In my bipolar self aid group someone lied about his suicidal thoughts. I asked him why he lied. He told me: I felt kind of embarrassed that I am such a loser because I don't even want to live???
I think I am a loser due to many reasons. However my suicidal thoughts are not really one of them.
He owns barely nothing. In the place where he lives there are many thiefs who stole his smartphone 2 times.
After the first clinic stay I thought about the patients there and who of them killed themselves. There were many people with psychosis/schizophrenia and the suicide rate is quite high. I met some of them again and some of them even enjoy their life or at least they have arranged with their shitty life.
I could really not comprehend that. Many people value their life so much. My sister after her psychosis told me: Suicide I would never do that life is so precious. It is the most important thing a human has. I was really like how can we be relatives? (However my parents are really stupid and I ask me the same question again.)
On the other hand I think many people don't admit they are suicidal because they feel ashamed. In my bipolar self aid group someone lied about his suicidal thoughts. I asked him why he lied. He told me: I felt kind of embarrassed that I am such a loser because I don't even want to live???
I think I am a loser due to many reasons. However my suicidal thoughts are not really one of them.