I could never plan a CTB date. Has to be impulsive

[MrBlue]

I'm in between really. I think if I had an exact date I'd keep putting it off or feel to pressured to get it done correctly, so I'd have to do it impulsively. But on the other hand I need plan things properly so I don't fail. I'll probably ctb within a week of me ultimately deciding it's time or something, best of both worlds.

 

[Antigonish]

It's all about the cheetos.

 

[RainAndSadness]

It's very difficult to plan your own exit and follow through due to SI. Sometimes I feel impulsive and I wanna drink my N, that's when I feel extremely depressed and when I'm intoxicated. For example, a combination of alcohol and ambien seems to remove my SI to a large extend. So far I managed to resist doing it on impulse because that's not really the way I wanna go out. Back in 2019 I tried to ctb, after planning it carefully and checking into a hotel (for 140 bucks a night!) but I couldn't really push myself over the edge. It was a disaster and I didn't plan it through enough. If you're curious you can read it here. I went home feeling frustrated and defeated, poor 2019 Rain. There are ways to reduce the survival instinct though, for example certain combinations of drugs as mentioned above, and I'm gonna use them to my advantage the next time when I plan a date.

 

[Antigonish]

It's very difficult to plan your own exit and follow through due to SI. Sometimes I feel impulsive and I wanna drink my N, that's when I feel extremely depressed and when I'm intoxicated. For example, a combination of alcohol and ambien seems to remove my SI to a large extend. So far I managed to resist doing it on impulse because that's not really the way I wanna go out. Back in 2019 I tried to ctb, after planning it carefully and checking into a hotel (for 140 bucks a night!) but I couldn't really push myself over the edge. It was a disaster and I didn't plan it through enough. If you're curious you can read it here. I went home feeling frustrated and defeated, poor 2019 Rain. There are ways to reduce the survival instinct though, for example certain combinations of drugs as mentioned above, and I'm gonna use them to my advantage the next time when I plan a date.

Honestly, may not relate. But I won't die sober.

 

[MindFog]

I want it to be impulsive but I dont exactly have the privacy to do so.. I cant believe I have to move my date just for those who didnt even help me.

 

[Adamsnolife]

With me it has to go down as planning. The the Covid problems / Lockdown has continually delayed CTB.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Must be planned as I still have things to leave behind. There are still individuals cared about that must be addressed and taken care of to minimize future harm.

I could CTB impulsively as time passes . I'm sure I could do it on impulse at advanced age
Yes I'm dealing with this problem also. Hectic situation due to cv19

 

[ansiedad]

I tried CTB one time. It was not delibered decision.
It was a moment an instinct, a scape from the pain. This pain was borned that day.
Since that day I think in ctb all the days, try partial 'experiments'.
But really I never try it again.
SN sound in my mind as a good way to escape.
I think that day was my last day, now all is anxiety, deppresion and pain.

 

[WornOutLife]

I was impulsive twice and ended up in a hospital + prisoner in my parents house for 5 months.

Don't want that to happen ever again so I'll have a plan and proper date next time.

 

[ElegantlyWasted]

The thing I don't like about planning is you consciously have to think about how you know the exact moment you are going to die which makes me anxious which has caused me to put it off week by week. If you do it all at once when you're already feeling terrible at least it would be over before you have time to ponder it.