Method i commute with trains almost everyday, so…

[wildbluekiss]

everyday, i commute with trains. and every single day, i'm thinking to end my life with them. the very thing that close to me, offed by the thing that i always use daily. studies and work can be tough, so whether the mood i'm in, hopeful or sorrowful, i've spent it in trains.

but you know… even though i've been contemplating for so long about ctb using trains, in the very last minute, i always get so scared… never in so much fear with my (failed) attempts using pills to ODs… but trains, before i could even jump, i got unbearable chills running down my spine.

was that SI? or was that my love of trains pulling me away so that i at least wouldn't end my life with one of the only things i love and enjoy in my life?

because you know, contradicting that, i think passing using what i love is actually beautiful. but i just can't do it, i don't know.

 

[Loaf of bread]

was that SI? or was that my love of trains pulling me away so that i at least wouldn't end my life with one of the only things i love and enjoy in my life?

Yep, that's SI, not love of trains. For CTB by train SI happens to be really intense, far more intense than most other methods.

 

[wildbluekiss]

Yep, that's SI, not love of trains. For CTB by train SI happens to be really intense, far more intense than most other methods.

is that so… i think it's SI, but my love of trains contributes even if not's for the most. getting killed by my beloved… even if it's not another human being, just, a fucking locomotive lol, it's kinda… saddening.

but yeah i relate! from ODs, tried to jump off of the rooftop, and all… my SI were really insanely intense whenever i'm contemplating on the platform. there came a thought like, anything, anything but this, not getting wrecked by this, please. ugh, hell.

 

[curiousfawn]

i wanna do this also but i dont wanna traumatise the train driver tbh :/

 

[wildbluekiss]

i wanna do this also but i dont wanna traumatise the train driver tbh :/

you're so right. this is my concern indeed… and must be a concern of everyone is sasu too while considering this as a method. but what can i do, living in the religious third-world country, this is one of the very accessible methods.

do you by any chance have the same condition?

 

[curiousfawn]

do you by any chance have the same condition?

what condition?

 

[wildbluekiss]

what condition?

like… actually have a bond with trains, lol. like, using them daily? commuting?

 

[RedHates]

when i was homeless, there was a train that ran directly outside of the gate of the shelter i stayed at. every time it passed, id go out to watch it and debate on it. it moved slow enough that i could have easily stuck my head on the track before the next car came by but it was certainly fast enough to kill me. there were always guards and people around when it passed so i never had the courage.

 

[outrider567]

everyday, i commute with trains. and every single day, i'm thinking to end my life with them. the very thing that close to me, offed by the thing that i always use daily. studies and work can be tough, so whether the mood i'm in, hopeful or sorrowful, i've spent it in trains.

but you know… even though i've been contemplating for so long about ctb using trains, in the very last minute, i always get so scared… never in so much fear with my (failed) attempts using pills to ODs… but trains, before i could even jump, i got unbearable chills running down my spine.

was that SI? or was that my love of trains pulling me away so that i at least wouldn't end my life with one of the only things i love and enjoy in my life?

because you know, contradicting that, i think passing using what i love is actually beautiful. but i just can't do it, i don't know.

Too risky--I've read of many failed attempts with truamatic injuries--One guy lost his legs

 

[mortuarymary]

i wanna do this also but i dont wanna traumatise the train driver tbh :/

This is exactly why no one should.
its a selfish way to die