Venting I can’t stop thinking about it

[whenwillthepainstop]

I plan to CTB in a couple months because I need lots of planning time but the thoughts are so intense and even a couple months is so much to bear. I'm in so so much pain I just want it to stop, I need it to stop. Can somebody comfort me?

 

[pinstripe]

It's hard to do. Hard to plan. Hard to execute. It's exhausting how much work it is to catch the bus. The bus stop is never right at the street corner.

 

[NeoN0va]

I feel you, since the same happened to me last year. I waited and waited, and when the day came, I chickened out and threw away the cups with the SN mix. This time it's the same, i'm waiting with catching the bus until the 22nd, on my best friend's birthday. She wanted no contact for a while until she got better, but it's been a whole month and even when I dm'd her 2 days ago to check how she's doing, I got completely ghosted, that's why i'm waiting for her birthday, to see with her personally and find out whether she wants to keep her contact with me or not. If she would be willing to keep our contact, I might stay for a little longer, as long as I don't suffer even more when we come back together, other way around, i'd just go into the woods once it gets dark and CTB there, especially that there is one spot there that means a lot to me. Just remember, you're not alone in this. There's many of us that feel the same, maybe not exactly the same, but we all have AT LEAST one thing in common, which is the will to die.

I wish you get all the strength it takes to handle it for a little longer. <333

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

I feel you, since the same happened to me last year. I waited and waited, and when the day came, I chickened out and threw away the cups with the SN mix. This time it's the same, i'm waiting with catching the bus until the 22nd, on my best friend's birthday. She wanted no contact for a while until she got better, but it's been a whole month and even when I dm'd her 2 days ago to check how she's doing, I got completely ghosted, that's why i'm waiting for her birthday, to see with her personally and find out whether she wants to keep her contact with me or not. If she would be willing to keep our contact, I might stay for a little longer, as long as I don't suffer even more when we come back together, other way around, i'd just go into the woods once it gets dark and CTB there, especially that there is one spot there that means a lot to me. Just remember, you're not alone in this. There's many of us that feel the same, maybe not exactly the same, but we all have AT LEAST one thing in common, which is the will to die.

I wish you get all the strength it takes to handle it for a little longer. <333

Thank you so much, this is one of the only places I truly feel understood. News places describe the site as some toxic hell hole but it's not like that. We all just want peace.

It's hard to do. Hard to plan. Hard to execute. It's exhausting how much work it is to catch the bus. The bus stop is never right at the street corner.

I KNOW, it's so much work just to die that sometimes I can't even be bothered because I'm already exhausted.