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wait i'm goated
- Feb 12, 2023
- 421
i just wanna bash my head into the wall or something, but that's too loud. i'm lightheaded and it's hard to breathe, i cant even get up off the floor lolol i feel so sick and shaky.
it's the same shit as always. i have no one and it's suffocating. my boss was asking me why i haven't used any of my vacation days and ofc i explained that i had nothingto do and nowhere to go. i can't do anything becuase it's all so miserable and lonely. everytbing just makes me feel worse because i have no one and everything becoems shitty after being alone for so long. the conversation made me really sad and just reminded me of how disconnected i am from normal people who have friends and loved ones who enjoy being around them. i wanted to cry, they just didn't get it.
my birthday is next week and it's making me feel so much better worse, it's exactly like last year but worse. another lonely ass day, i have no one. birthdays and holidays are so hard now, just an enormous reminder of how lonely i am.
everyone is talking about vacation plans, events they'll be attending, and things they'll be doing with their friends and/or family. they're doing all of that and i can't even get someome to talk to me or even wish me happy birthday.
i'll at least be working on my birthday so i don't have to wallow in my sadnss lol.
i dont relatw to anyone st all. no one genuinely understand what i mean when i say i'm lonely. i feel so sick i just want to die, i don't want to see another birthday. i jsut want it to be over. i'm so tired of being alone and left out and embarrassed bt every attempt at making friends. i'm tored of thinking about my old friends and feeling depressed, angry, and guilty. i can't even decide how i'm supposed to feel there. it has to be my fault that everyone left, it's the only thing that makes sense, bht im still just angry on top of everytbing. everyone who claimed to care about you leaving you at your worst like it's nothing while everything in your life is going to shit still feels fucked up. it's been about a year since everyone left and i'm so much worse than i was last year, i've only deteriorated more and more. i havent gotten used to any of this isolation i just got worse while (most of them) presumably got better and moved on to have better lives woth better peolle and friends. i have to die, i cant continue on like this. there's no point if you're alone, i just need to die.
it's the same shit as always. i have no one and it's suffocating. my boss was asking me why i haven't used any of my vacation days and ofc i explained that i had nothingto do and nowhere to go. i can't do anything becuase it's all so miserable and lonely. everytbing just makes me feel worse because i have no one and everything becoems shitty after being alone for so long. the conversation made me really sad and just reminded me of how disconnected i am from normal people who have friends and loved ones who enjoy being around them. i wanted to cry, they just didn't get it.
my birthday is next week and it's making me feel so much better worse, it's exactly like last year but worse. another lonely ass day, i have no one. birthdays and holidays are so hard now, just an enormous reminder of how lonely i am.
everyone is talking about vacation plans, events they'll be attending, and things they'll be doing with their friends and/or family. they're doing all of that and i can't even get someome to talk to me or even wish me happy birthday.
i'll at least be working on my birthday so i don't have to wallow in my sadnss lol.
i dont relatw to anyone st all. no one genuinely understand what i mean when i say i'm lonely. i feel so sick i just want to die, i don't want to see another birthday. i jsut want it to be over. i'm so tired of being alone and left out and embarrassed bt every attempt at making friends. i'm tored of thinking about my old friends and feeling depressed, angry, and guilty. i can't even decide how i'm supposed to feel there. it has to be my fault that everyone left, it's the only thing that makes sense, bht im still just angry on top of everytbing. everyone who claimed to care about you leaving you at your worst like it's nothing while everything in your life is going to shit still feels fucked up. it's been about a year since everyone left and i'm so much worse than i was last year, i've only deteriorated more and more. i havent gotten used to any of this isolation i just got worse while (most of them) presumably got better and moved on to have better lives woth better peolle and friends. i have to die, i cant continue on like this. there's no point if you're alone, i just need to die.
