Venting I can’t do it, I’m too scared

[apearl]

I always tell myself oh I haven't died yet because I don't have the access to it but I got the rope, and I got the technique down, my hands go tingly and my vision starts to blur without having to worry about the uncomfortable suffocating feeling, and I can't I'm too scared.

I feel like such a coward. All I've wanted for the past 6 years is this and I can't do it. Maybe it's cause I'm sober but I don't wanna waste alcohol unless I'm 100% and this is scaring me.

I'm so disappointed in myself

 

[klantedklaw]

I always tell myself oh I haven't died yet because I don't have the access to it but I got the rope, and I got the technique down, my hands go tingly and my vision starts to blur without having to worry about the uncomfortable suffocating feeling, and I can't I'm too scared.

I feel like such a coward. All I've wanted for the past 6 years is this and I can't do it. Maybe it's cause I'm sober but I don't wanna waste alcohol unless I'm 100% and this is scaring me.

I'm so disappointed in myself

Do you want to die or do you want to be happy?

 

[Forveleth]

Do not beat yourself up. Killing yourself is one of the most difficult things you could do. You are fighting millions of years of survival instinct. It does not make you a coward.

 

[apearl]

Do you want to die or do you want to be happy?

I just don't think there's a way to live and be happy for me

Do not beat yourself up. Killing yourself is one of the most difficult things you could do. You are fighting millions of years of survival instinct. It does not make you a coward.

Thank you

 

[Aflame5926]

I always tell myself oh I haven't died yet because I don't have the access to it but I got the rope, and I got the technique down, my hands go tingly and my vision starts to blur without having to worry about the uncomfortable suffocating feeling, and I can't I'm too scared.

I feel like such a coward. All I've wanted for the past 6 years is this and I can't do it. Maybe it's cause I'm sober but I don't wanna waste alcohol unless I'm 100% and this is scaring me.

I'm so disappointed in myself

there are more ways to rome.

i think i failed like 4-5 attemps in my life.
im certainly not good at it but im pretty sure i do want to go.
painlessly tho

 

[itsgone2]

I'm scared too. It will happen for us one day